The Vampire Review

MUST SEE: Underworld Awakening. Leave The Theater Smiling

2012-01-22T21:17:00.000-08:00

Movie photo of Blogger Tami Jackson, Taylor Gordon,
Kelly Gordon - taken at a rated PG movie (Underworld is not for kids).

Just got home from watching Underworld Awakening (aka "Underworld 4") on the big screen and cannot stop grinning ear-to-ear, after the fact. This movie has everything: girl power, action-packed werewolf on vampire action, lots of blood and guts splattered in with incredible suspense and medical science gone wrong. There's even a really strong LOVE theme to appeal to one's more genteel side (in case you happen to have one).

In short? I vote this movie a "must see" for urban horror fans and expect to buy it once the flick is available on DVD. (I'm very VERY happy with it - think it's one of the best Underworld films yet.)

Here's the quick run-down on the movie - and I'm making this ridiculously short and sweet because saying anything more than what I offer here would spoil the plot.

Basically? Human forces discovered the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans and have launched a successful war to eradicate both species of undead. That's when Vampire Warrioress Selene (actor Kate Beckinsale) in her famous shiny "death dealer" black cat suit makes a heroic attempt to escape the big city with her lycan lover.

Meanwhile? This great purging of all immortals comes at huge costs for the couple and there are daunting medical surprises in store after they are attacked with specialized weapons. For one thing? Selene finds herself frozen inside a medical capsule and someone helps her escape - but it's 12 years later and she's desperate to find her lover, only to be told he's dead.

That's it. That's all I can say without ruining the film but believe me it all works out in the end. Here's the official trailer for your viewing pleasure. *I hope you go see it and leave a comment here after the fact.*

CAST:


Kate Beckinsale	...	Selene
Stephen Rea	...	Dr. Jacob Lane
Michael Ealy	...	Detective Sebastian
Theo James	...	David
India Eisley	...	Eve
Sandrine Holt	...	Lida
Charles Dance	...	Thomas
Kris Holden-Ried	...	Quint
Jacob Blair	...	Officer Kolb
Adam Greydon Reid	...	Med Tech #1
Catlin Adams	...	Olivia
Robert Lawrenson	...	Waterfront Cop
Lee Majdoub	...	Desk Guard #1
Tyler McClendon	...	Scientist
Panou	...	Old City Cop #1 ;

This blog is written, managed and sometimes neglected, but never for long, by Tami Jayne Jackson

Vampire Flick: "I Sell The Dead." Offbeat, Not Unlike "The Apple Dumpling Gang"

2012-01-19T22:04:00.000-08:00

2008 comedy horror film, "I Sell The Dead," may not be a "must see" but it will get you laughing in places. My favorite scene is highlighted in yellow, toward the bottom of this post. In short, it's the story of grave robbers and the accidental unearthing of vampires.

I watched this movie via Netflix. I'd recommend it for light offbeat humor (a distraction if you're bored).

Here are my tweets for this slap-stick humor. Read these bottom to top to appreciate them in chronological order.

"I Sell The Dead" ends with "A good cast is worth repeating" (as undead continue to walk this earth)

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

Female grave robber:"You're all cowards. There's money to made...that should keep us all happy and lovely. You're telling me you're afraid?"

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

"It's pure and simple evil I met up with ... the living (pause) dead ... Took me ages to pry open the box ... I thought I was dead for sure.

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

I Sell The Dead:Grave robbers fight over what looks like a frozen alien corpse but in the struggle a bright light appears-cadaver disappears

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

Hilarious vampire attack scene (I Sell The Dead) When the stake is pulled from her heart she's animated. Shove it back in she's dead again.

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

Seems removing the large garlic necklace and wooden stake from a dead woman's corpse is not a good idea ... I Sell The Dead

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

"What I don't get is why they buried a corpse outside of a graveyard" says the apprentice. "Suicide, most likely." says the foreman

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

"One job turned us from body snatchers into ghouls" ... "you never ever trust a corpse." ~ I Sell The Dead

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

I Sell The Dead quotation: "Advancing medicine is what you two are doing." Says doctor to two grave robbers.

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

"I'll tell what ya father. You keep this whiskey here flowing and we'll have a lot to chat" ~ prisoner w/5 hours to live. "I Sell The Dead"

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vamchoir Tami Jackson

I Sell The Dead starts w/an old fashioned guillotine and slap-stick quips from the soon-to-be decapitated. (Think poverty & baby skeletons.)

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CAST:

Dominic Monaghan as Arthur Blake
Larry Fessenden as Willie Grimes
Ron Perlman as Father Duffy
Brenda Cooney as Fanny Briers
John Speredakos as Cornelius Murphy
Heather Bullock as Valentine
Alisdair Stewart as Bulger
Angus Scrimm as Doctor Quint
Joel Garland as Ronnie
Aidan Redmond as Jack Flood
Jonathan M. Parisen as Towns Folk #1

A Writer's Perspective By Dark Series Author Kathryn Meyer Griffith

2011-11-19T12:02:00.000-08:00

Kathryn Meyer Griffith

Why I Wrote A Time of Demons (First book of the Before The End series) By Kathryn Meyer Griffith.

NOTE: Follow me on Facebook!

Around 2003 or so, as many times before in my roller coaster thirty-nine year long writing career, I had about given up. Again. I had eleven published novels (mostly romantic horror and horror) and six short stories to my name between 1984 and 2003 with Leisure, Zebra, and Avalon Books.

In 2003 I’d had a dark murder mystery called Scraps of Paper from Avalon Books come out, had finished the second All Things Slip Away in the series for them. I was proud of the mysteries and the books themselves. The two had fairly decent, but mundane covers, and were hardcovers…my first. I believed the novels were my best so far. Contemporary and simple, but people loved the characters and the quirky town they lived in I’d tongue-in-cheek called Spooky.

BOOK PRICING AND HARD LESSONS LEARNED
The price was steep, I thought though, at $26 dollars each. But I’d already seen the writing on the wall. I’d gotten a $1,000 advance for each but there was this sneaky little clause in their contracts I’d learned that said I would not see a dime more of royalties until 3,500 books were sold. That alone would probably keep me from seeing any more money – unless the books were run away hits and more would be printed, or other rights would be sold. That rarely happened I’d been told by other authors for they only printed about 1,750 units at a time and that meant it would have to go into a third printing to gain me anything else. And Avalon didn’t usually go after outside subsidiary rights of any kind. Of course, over the years, though both books have had great reviews, A’s really, neither book has gone into a third printing. Oh, well. As warned, I haven’t seen another penny though the novels still seem to be on sale everywhere. Everyone loves them and wants a third. No way. I’ll wait until my long ten year contracts are up before I write another Spooky town mystery for Avalon Books. You live and learn. It seems like over my career I’ve had a lot of such lessons to learn. Ha.

MOVING ON TOWARD NEW ADVENTURES
Anyways, I’d missed my horror genre so much and had been thinking for a while about this new book of mine. Oh, okay, yes, I said I was ready to throw the towel in…but stupid me, I never do. When will I learn? It all started with a tiny seed. Two characters. Siblings. These characters, a loving brother and sister, Cassandra and Johnny Graystone, would be nightclub playing musicians who’d lost their whole family (five brothers and sisters and a mother and father) twenty years before and in the present would be living with and taking care of their elderly aunt and uncle. The aunt would have Alzheimer’s and the uncle, age catching up with him, would be frail, as well. They’d be Catholic. As I’d been raised. The uncle would believe the end days had come. Cassandra would be happy with her life singing out with her brother and living with her sick aunt and uncle. Until…she’d begin to know when people were going to die and she’d begin seeing these hideous creatures – demons–hiding behind some of her human audiences’ faces; bad things would start to happen around her, and she’d think either she was going insane or something terrible was happening to the world.

Turns out her uncle was right. The end days had come. I saw demons and angels swirling around her that only, at first, she would see. Then I saw her with a glowing sword that she’d use in battles with other human soldiers of her kind she’d meet along the way fighting a growing horde of demons. The apocalypse not far behind.

Ah, it would be an apocalyptic novel. That’s it. But one with heart; characters you could root for and love, more a layman’s view of the biblical end-of-days, and not near as much preaching as The Left Behind series which I’d read years before and liked.

Since I’ve always wanted to write an end-of-days novel –I’d loved Stephen King’s THE STAND so much– the story had taken firm root and wouldn’t leave me alone until I started writing it. I had to. It would be my masterpiece! The book called to me that strongly.

The woman eventually discovers she is one of many who will have powers to see and fight demons, with the help of angels, as the end days draw near. She must seek out others like herself and convince them to join the fight. She must begin to battle the powerful evil entities she alone is aware of, as well. In the process I send her, her brother, aunt and uncle, and their friends, on a rousing but dangerous quest across the country in a RV…after tornadoes and demons destroy their homes. The world is falling apart around them. Catastrophic earthquakes, tornados and hurricanes are everywhere. A rise in terrible human crimes…most caused by demons or demonic influences. But I tried to make it a story of family and human love as well as a survival story in the face of overwhelming odds as the world spins to its end.

A LESSON FROM DISAPPOINTMENT:
Many agents, editors and publishers turned it down. Too religious. Not religious enough. Not enough this, not enough that. .. I wasn’t a big enough writer. How dare I write something on such a huge religious scale. Oh, no, you have angels in it? Oh, no, you have demons in it! Whatever. But I believed so much in the book I didn’t give up. I kept sending it out.

THEN? SUCCESS!
In 2010 I finally sold it to Kim Richards at Damnation Books, her brand new publishing company (and now she also owns Eternal Press and Realms of Fantasy Magazine). She read and loved it. She got it. By then I’d also finished another horror novel, more a romantic horror tale about a witchy vampiress resurrected from her Civil War era tomb and now haunting her old home, an atmospheric lovely bed and breakfast run in the present by a loving husband and wife. The wife has to fight to save her husband’s life when the vampiress believes he’s her reincarnated soldier/lover from the Civil War days and tries to take him back for her own. A real eternal love story. A dangerous love triangle. Of course dead drained corpses show up all over the place. I called that book

The Woman in Crimson. Kim loved and contracted both of them.
An editor, Lisa Jackson, helped me polish up A Time of Demons until it shone and Annie Melton created a striking, scary, cover in vivid scarlets with the two main characters at their microphones and a demon-hiding-behind-its-human face customer at a nearby table.

So that’s how the BEFORE THE END: A Time of Demons was given life. Hopefully, in the next few years I’ll write the second novel in the series…when I get all my old Leisure and Zebra paperback books (going back to 1984) all rewritten and out again between June 2010 and July 2012. Kim offered to reissue all ten of them, revised and with astonishingly striking new covers, and I couldn’t say no. It’s been a heck of a lot of work, but a labor of love. What writer wouldn’t want a second chance to make an old book a better one and have it rereleased all over again? Not me, for sure. Grin.

WINNER OF AN AWARD!
And A time of Demons? Since its release last May it’s gotten fantastic reviews (see there all you naysayers!) and has even won the She Never Slept’s 2010 Nightmare Award, as one of the three best romantic horror books they’d read in all of 2010. Yeah! Now if more people would give it a try, a read, I’m hopeful they’d like it, as well. It’s far more than a simple horror or religious parable…it’s a family and earthly human saga. All I can do is pray, hope…and promote, promote, promote!

I’ll never give up. How can I? It’s my masterpiece. As my mom used to say, winners never quit and losers never win. And me, I’m not a quitter. Or I try not to be. Sometimes the crazy book/publishing world can drive me plumb nuts. But I always get over it. Grin.

So thank you all for letting me ramble on and on…warmly, author Kathryn Meyer Griffith

Click here to see MORE of my book trailers with original music by my singer/songwriter brother JS Meyer.

Guest Post: "Soldiers Of The Night" ... by Tom Olbert

2011-11-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

Vampire Review is very please to introduce Tom Olbert as the guest author today. Please check out his books on Amazon.

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SOLDIERS OF THE NIGHT by Tom Olbert

Vampires. How they fascinate us.

Vampires have evolved through thousands of years of mythology spanning many cultures. For audiences here in the states, our concept of vampirism is based on east European folklore as introduced to us by Bram Stoker. His immortal Dracula was both beguiling seducer and predator. A seductive evil that, for Stoker at least, represented an old world pagan culture that simply had to be destroyed by the enlightenment of Christianity.

As our society has changed since Stoker’s time, the vampire has evolved from villain to anti-hero. Symbolizing perhaps the restless spirit of man at war with his animal side, our fear of death and our dark, secret longings all rolled into one, the vampire has become a brooding, tragic figure longing for restored humanity and pursuing it like a holy grail. (Remember Barnabas Collins, or Nicholas Knight?)

The vampires of contemporary fiction (Twilight, Vampire Diaries, etc.) are young, lusty, passionately romantic figures. Some still brooding and tragic, but nonetheless damned hot-blooded. The vampire/human romance depicted in Twilight represents the primal mystery of sex from a virgin’s eye view. Vampire Diaries takes a darker, more adult view and delves more deeply into the twisted labyrinth of passion and self-discovery.

In my vampire novelette “Unholy Alliance,” I chose to present vampirism against the backdrop of real-world human evil and violence, amid the loneliness and alienation it breeds. The vampire seemed a natural product of and foil against that kind of evil. The story is a dark paranormal contemporary urban fantasy. Its protagonists are homeless teens fighting to survive in city streets run by pimps and dealers. It’s the story of Chris, a young vampire hunter who goes rogue, abandoning the simple concepts of right and wrong he was raised with when he falls in love with Sara, a vampire. Both of them are orphans trapped in a dark, lonely existence. Chris’s only family members were killed by vampires when he was five. He has been raised (and exploited) by cruel, brutal vampire hunters ever since. His life has consisted of killing vampires and robbing crack houses to live. Sara’s parents died in a Nazi concentration camp when she was fifteen. Turned by vampires, her life for the past seventy years has been only the hunt and the blood, the sadistic tyranny of her vampire lord and the constant pursuit of the hunters. All of the kids in Chris’s group and Sara’s are outcasts, either ripped from the lives they had or discarded. Some are just killing angry and out for revenge. Others dare to hope for at least a glimpse of love.

When their self-serving masters die in battle, these kids find themselves on their own for the first time, and decide they’re tired of endlessly giving to a cold world that gives nothing back. Human and vampire unite in taking down some very human bloodsuckers who use kids as sex slaves. There’s no road out of the darkness for any of them, but love gives them a reason to go on.

“Unholy Alliance” is available from Eternal Press and as paperback or Kindle at Amazon.com

Raising An Old Horror Movie From The Dead: "The Thing"

2011-11-02T19:03:00.000-07:00

The Thing (a 1982 movie) starring Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley (now deceased) and Keith David (among other highly talented actors) is just the sort of movie every horror fan should see at least once. It received nominations from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror Films for Best Horror Film and Best Special Effects.

For those blog-fans who don't care about any movie's public acclaim too much, let me just say this film really is creepy thanks to its premise. Certainly the film is rather old now but the animation used at the time it was made was most compelling and advanced for its day. Not only that? But this the story behind "The Thing" is much more creapy than any demon-possession story because instead of the individual surviving a paranormal attack, the human-victim is completely cannibalized (murdered) and the evil alien entity assumes its victim's behaviorisms, looks and professional identity. Survivors do not know who is a cannibalistic alien and who might genuinely still be their friend/coworker.

Here's video footage from the movie, after Kurt Russell's character figures out how they can test blood to determine WHO is still human, or not:

"UNEXPECTED TERROR" Guest Post by Jake Bannerman

2011-10-13T20:07:00.000-07:00

To me, the best horror is when it comes from something you never expected it to come from: for example, the horror I am going to get from Kate when she notices that this is all in capitals. I didn’t notice until I was almost done, and I wasn’t going to start over!
So, unexpected horror – like what, you may ask?

I am going to go over a list of things that in normal everyday life are not scary in the least. However, in the movies, they can be skillfully manipulated in such a way to make all of us piss ourselves with terror.

#1. The radio! Remember in ‘Christine’? “You keep on knocking but you can’t come in…” Argh, fuck that! Or how about in 1408 – of all things, the Carpenters? Karen Carpenter; the woman with the true voice of an angel – and Stephen King turned her into Satan!

#2. Little children. I mean, who is scared of kids? Not me, not in the least bit – I’ll dropkick the little bastards. But the number one example has got to be the two little bitches standing in the hallway in ‘The Shining’. Oh, my fucking leaping Jesus, kill them – kill them with fire! Then there’s the little blond Aryan child from ‘Pet Sematary’ – no, no, no, no! Kill him and the f*@#ing cat as well!

#3. The telephone. Oh, we could do this all day, starting with the original ‘stranger in the house’ calls and working all the way through to the semi-modern ‘Scream’! The opening of the first ‘Scream’ was just about as close to perfection as it gets; hearing her screams and struggles on the other end of the phone line was utterly bone-chilling.

#4. Okay, even the toilet can be frightening! I can think of three superb examples. Stephen King again, firstly – in ‘Dreamcatcher’ when Jason Lee gets the alien enema. Brilliance! Then in ‘The Amityville Horror’ when the toilet fills with blood; that would have been my first sign that something was wrong, surely! Last, but most definitely not least is ‘Crocodile’, when the giant crocodile comes out of the sewer and smashes through the toilet. Awesome!

Okay, well, that’s about as much fun as I can stand for today! Thanks, all of you, for reading my post. J. (Jake Bannerman)

Review Of "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!"

2011-10-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

"Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!" (2008) proves way too sexually violent for me to recommend it to most viewers. Not only do men and women both get raped, but they might be missing limbs when the violent sexual crimes take place. In one scenario? An almost fully-clothed zombie is having sex with a dismembered head ... From my own narrow point of view, I had to wonder: "what sort of deviant mutant wrote this crap?"

BEYOND THE DRAWBACKS: This film has great zombie action in it, and while the dialogue is severely lacking (i.e., "f*@#" is spoken every few words) and none of the zombie-characters look or behave even remotely like vampires (so putting "vampire" in the title makes no sense) the redeeming value from this movie is all about the fast action. I for one viewer, leapt out of my seat twice while watching, thanks to the element of surprise. For example: a cop is trying to make a getaway and suddenly a zombie appears from behind to nab him. The fright aspects affected me with HILARIOUS glee.

I also enjoyed the light-hearted humor presented throughout the full length of this film. For example, in one scene? An angry zombie flies in through window, grabs a woman, says "HUNGRY." She replies with: "Eat this" and blows the zombie head off with her oozie. Then? She turns from the zombie brains that are now spread on the distant wall and says: "Sorry about the mess dad."

If you've ever wanted to kick zombie butt? This might be your movie because there's LOTS OF THAT going on. It's what made the movie worth watching, to me.

RIDICULOUS SCENARIOS:
1. What the heck. Zombies rip off a woman's arm and THEN her dress (she runs screaming naked like a kid who stepped on a hornet's nest)! *SEE PHOTO*

2. Why does one cop carry 7+ identical hand-guns in the trunk of his car? Because this is "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!" That's why!

3. Female doctor Lisa plans to save the world by requiring all survivors to "make babies." Any intelligent viewer is going to consider the backdrop in this movie and ask "For what? Zombie food?"

4. This flick suggests that watching zombies trying to get inside the white metal fence, with blood slathered all over that protective barrier, is a highly romantic scenario. It's presented as though couples are watching the stars and listening to Barry Manilow when they're hearing cannibalistic grunts and groans that stimulate their sexual appetites. Dialogue is: "This could be our last night on earth."

5. After the solar flares turn humans into zombies (think: cops and gangstah's fainting everywhere to disco-like lights flashing outside) fuel will no longer combust so vehicles don't work. Hurray for the electric car, which doesn't make sense, scientifically, because in the real world solar flares often impact electrical systems first. Meanwhile? In this movie, the electric car works when no other vehicles will run.

6. Dr. "Lisa" who admits she only has ONE clip for her machine gun sure knows how to waste bullets (unloading the entire enterage) while shooting a small group of zombies at the base of the stairs.

FASCINATING AND NOT ANTICIPATED SCENARIOS
* Zombies mutate rapidly so shooting them in the head suddenly no longer kills them.

* Zombies have become gigantic on a rapid scale, which creates a lot of suspense in this movie, and when the zombies pick up the escape-car it's suddenly apparent that nobody's going ANYWHERE, it's a hilarious surprise for the viewer!

DIALOGUE FROM THIS MOVIE

"The world changed last night cop. There's a whole new bad guy on the street." Spoken by gangster member to last living police officer.

"Blood sucking-mother-f*$#ers" says the head gangsta-dude. "Succinctly put. Yes." Replies the scientist.

"We've got a regular Bruce Lee with us," says cop after observing heroic behavior by a gangster member. "Whose Bruce Lee?" that gangster-hero asks.

"Who the F*@# are you mother-f*$#er" ... "I'm Wexler, mother-f*$#er" (typical dialogue found in "Mutant Vampire Zombies From The Hood")

"Oh hell no! I aint giving my johnson to no zombie bitch"

"Man! If the whole world is like this? Then I'm moving to Mars baby."

"Everything might be gone but you still got your woman. To me, that's lucky," (says cop to lead gangster).

Review Of French Horror "The Horde" {Fast Paced Zombie Flick}

2011-10-06T16:27:00.000-07:00

Even though this foreign film is subtitled - the action, suspense, and hilarious-sort of "horror" make it a worth-see, in my opinion. "The Horde" (2009 flick) features an end-of-world battle between cops, gangsters and zombies. Naturally the cops hate the gansters and visa-versa but the zombies hate (and wanna eat) EVERYBODY. So a bond between human enemies ensues - which makes sense because what's a zombie movie without unlikely allies?

PARENTAL CAUTIONS:
This movie is very violent. There's lots of testosterone-laden posturing, with profanity spelled out (thanks to subtitles). In one scene, a female-zombie's breasts are exposed and a fat and dirty old man suggests having sex with her corpse. The only token female in this film acts very much like an emotionally diminished hateful b*tch who runs around with her nipples showing through her skimpy shirt. This movie promotes cocaine use as a physical enhancing asset.

THE MOVIE:Worth seeing for the zombie action and great make-up, this movie begins with bunch of dudes running around in ski masks carrying machine guns. It's not really clear what's going on at first but really cool suspenseful music plays in the background when a fat guy in a stained T-shirts comes out of his condemned building to order loiterers to push off.

OTHER FASCINATING DETAILS:
When a human is turning zombie, the transition is visible through the skin.
ZOMBIES growl and walk jerkily like their neurological systems are NOT fully functional. In contrast? Those same zombies can also run at heroic speed.

GREAT DIALOGUE
‎"Gotta chop your leg off." (Spoken casually by a pick-axe wielding nut-job for a fat old man) "What?" (Asks the gangster in a suit, but he soon realizes the old fart isn't joking).

EXCELLENT MAKE-UP
When someone gets beat-up, their face really shows it and the zombies are rather believable with their rotting flesh as well.

SCENES WORTH WATCHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN
1. The female cop ends up alone and she's kidney-punching a female zombie. This scene is really AWESOME. The cop begins slamming that female zombie's head repeatedly inside the cupboard door. I cannot tell you how many times I rewound the movie for the replay. I had so much fun seeing the female cop just easily flip over a full-size refrigerator on top of the zombie too. (It's so ridiculous it's amusing.)

2. Gangsta-in-3-piece-suit is repeatedly stabbing a zombie over and over and looks to the ceiling as though in orgasm. WTHeck?

3. Multiple scenes with head-butting and punching zombies ninja-style. There's also a scene where the heros cannot hold the door shut when ZOMBIES are pushing from the other side.

4. I kept rewinding to watch a very detailed scene where a zombie's head explodes (by machine gun blast) and it looks like a jar of jelly was smashed against the distant wall.

STUPID PARTS:
What's wrong w/this picture? Smallest person-female-is the one keeping the injured dude mobile while the big males all carry small handguns.

Gangsta's snort cocaine when zombies have taken over the world as though nobody should be keeping their wits about them to survive.

Gansta shoves handgun in cops face then turns it around when the cop doesn't flinch (hands it to him). Partners now.

Brave gangsta goes to investigate certain zombie growls when the room their groanings come from is full of flashing lights and the hero gets yanked off his feet ... hangs onto the lower part of the doorway while zombies eat his lower half.

"Scoundrels Are Cool" Says Author M.T. Murphy in this Great Post!

2011-09-24T20:22:00.000-07:00

Special guest and author M.T. Murphy writes today's article in relation to his book "Lesser, A Villainous Urban Fantasy" ISBN 978-1-4524-2434-7 (ePub) published by Lex Talionis Books. Follow his successes on Twitter (more contact information for him is below)!

This vampire-werewolf tale falls under the urban fiction category. It's humorous, dark and romantic. Released on September 10, 2011

HERE'S M.T. Murphy's exclusive posting for Vampire Review: "Gray is my favorite color"

Han shot first.

With that statement, I reveal myself as the nerd that I am. So be it. I am a geek who prefers to see a character with a dark side.

Scoundrels are cool.

Real people aren’t all sunshine and roses, even though they may pretend to be. Everyone has both good and bad in them. Make-believe people should be the same way.

Take vampires for example.

In the old legends vampires ate babies, buried themselves back in their own graves each night, and were not particularly attractive—appearing instead as bloated corpses. There was no hair gel, no fancy silk shirt, and no angst to be found.

The modern vampire has evolved into a beautiful, self-loathing creature that struggles against its unsavory impulses. All it takes to give them the strength to stand against their evil brethren and find their inner heart of gold is the love of a kind human.

Fuck that.

The vampires I write about are not so altruistic. They enjoy drinking blood and amassing power. They revel in the joys of being nearly-invulnerable carnivores atop the world’s food chain. With a few exceptions, they don’t think twice about feeding upon a human and tossing him aside like a chewed-up pizza bone.

That’s not to say their eternal life is without its challenges. My vampires have two things to fear: werewolves and other vampires.

They have hunted werewolves to near extinction, and any vampire will tell you that this is a very good thing. You see, werewolves have the unpleasant tendency to kill vampires on sight, which vampires find very inconvenient. They are stronger than vampires and share their affinity for human blood and flesh, but it’s far more difficult to create a werewolf. For every hundred humans who survive a werewolf attack, one may become a werewolf while the other ninety-nine will likely die from the toxins in their blood.

Vampires’ greatest threat comes from themselves. Along with an insatiable lust for blood, the vampire nature also instills an equal desire for power. In their world, there is no better way to achieve power than in stealing it from one’s peers.

In short, vampires are evil and proud of it.

What happens when these malevolent demons are forced to do something heroic, like protecting a human from other vampires and werewolves? For me, that’s when things get interesting.

Black and white are boring colors. Gray is where it’s at.

Lesser, the second novel of my Villainous urban fantasy series about vampires and werewolves is available now at the following retailers:

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Smashwords

If you want to discuss my books, vampires, werewolves, or anything in between, contact me here:

Blog

Twitter

Urban Legend "The Vampire Of Sacramento"

2011-09-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Onision presents this very fun 6-minute movie about a "real" vampire of Sacramento, California - aka "Dracula" to mental health professionals. The serial killer named Richard Trenton Chase (May 23, 1950 – December 26, 1980) not drank his victims' blood but cannibalized them as well. Enjoy this too short but very sweet and spooky film.

Review of Shaun Of The Dead

2011-08-23T22:51:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed watching Shaun of the Dead, a 2004 film. I felt the movie had been overly hyped during its release and never watched it until now. Sad thing about publicity campaigns is my imagination is rather vivid and I began to expect much more from what I'd heard about this film than what I actually saw.

In spite of SOD's slow start - a couple's bickering over their dating discomfort - as soon as the zombies began to appear the movie became much more fast paced and very fun to see.

One of my favorite scenes involved a "girlfriend" beating zombies back with her boyfriend's bloody lower stump after he'd been disemboweled and dismembered.

If the video, below, does not play, you may watch the 5-minute version of Shaun of The Dead here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWw9vE39IGc

Review of "Return Of The LIving Dead 3" LMAO

2011-08-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Return Of The Living Dead 3 ... Director: Gerry Lively. Fascinating flick presents self-mutilating and suicidal zombies! Parts of this movie were so compelling I'd rewind just to watch a particular scene over again, thanks mostly to excellent make-up and animation.

This has got to be one of my all-time favorite zombie movies (not kidding). In the beginning, the objective is for military and medical personnel to create bio weapons for the United States with human corpses. Curtis, the main teenage character, is in love with peer Julie. But what can he do when she starts eating brains? (I won't destroy the movie by sharing HOW she became a zombie.) Fortunately, Julie learns that self mutilation helps her not to feel quite so cannibalistic and she shoves every metal thing into her soft tissue except for maybe a fork and knife.

If you enjoy watching movie scenes where legs are shown kicking (while the camera scans away so you don't see ALL the zombie action) then this film is also for you.

Here's Snapshots Of Dialog:

"It's your fault. Your brought me back. You should have just left me dead." (Julie to Curtis.)
I just buried myself in this insane job and because of that, I haven't always been there when you needed me. . .We have a lot to talk about."
"It proves that the living dead are not just animated flesh. It proves that they have an inner life."
After watching really grotesque zombie behavior in a seemingly sterilized room, we hear "I need to know what the hell happened here." (like duh, dude. Weren't you just watching?) LOL
Curtis: "So you really think I could do it?" (go to Seattle, play in a band, when Curtis has never had any musical training). Homeless man, aka "You can call me 'River Man": "Sure. Why not? Course. What do I know? You're talking, to a guy, who lives in the sewers!"
"Next time you see someone who needs help, you just give 'em this Madis Gras coin and help em out. And you tell them to do the same. To help somebody else. Because as long as that coin is circulating, there's always somebody out there doing something good for somebody."
"Strap that damn thing down before it wakes up again."
"If people knew what they had inside them, and knew how to get it out, they'd be a lot more happy." Homeless "River Man."

Lessons From This Movie:

Never get too hyper-focused on anything or you might get bit in the ankle by a newly made zombie.

Embedding of the movie beginning (first part) was disabled ... you can watch it HERE

Review of "The Lost Boys" (1987 Vampire Flick)

2011-08-13T22:20:00.000-07:00

Watching "The Lost Boys," a 1987 - Joel Schumacher film, was entertaining to say the least. A few highly intelligent Facebook friends had suggested that I watch it ... and to my light-hearted pleasure, I did!

In the beginning scenes, brothers Michael and Sam travel by car with their recently divorced mom, Lucy, to their new home in California. After that, it was difficult to decide what, exactly, was happening. A whirling vacuum motion kept sucking people into the air, as though strange abductions took place helicopter-style. Actors screamed as they followed car hoods and flying debris into oblivion. Later, however, the movie showed a beach scene where party-goers screamed as that same whirlwind-like disturbance swirled sand around them and then vampires suddenly appeared to sink fangs into their skulls.

What really made this movie worth watching, in my opinion, was all the humorous dialog.

EXAMPLES OF HUMOROUS QUOTES:

"Lucy? You're the only woman I know who didn't improve her situation by getting a divorce." Said Ganja-smoking hippy-grandpa (Lucy's father).

"Anything around here might pass for some aftershave?" ... "How bout some Windex Grandpa? ..."Yeah. That might work!"

Santa Carlo's become a haven for the un-dead. "Kill your brother. You'll feel better."

Very geeky boyfriend brings mom flowers. Her retort? "Boy. Someone around here has bad breath" (family's dog, a Husky suddenly appears)

Don't ever INVITE a vampire in, you silly boy! It renders you POWERLESS!

The movie also features a lot of slapstick humor, such as when a teen couple are presented in what may become a make-out scene, since they're sitting in back of a car at what seems to be a lookout point. She's laughing over a comic book. He's trying to kiss her. She smack's him alongside the head. Then the winds come.

Then, when the film focuses more on the vampires, things get a little creepy. A beautiful young teen is dominated by her loser-boyfriend and it makes the viewer wonder why her mom never taught her to "Say No To Thugs!"

Because this movie was filmed in the 1980's you'll see rotary dial phones, nerdy kids on stingray bicycles and ongoing arguments over which comic-book toting young boy can protect whom. When the geeky boys enter the vampire hotel it's an abandoned warehouse decorated with rotted linen curtains.

After, teen-age Michael, main character, drank from a fascinatingly hand-decorated wine-bottle that a ring-leader "lost boy" passed his way, stoner-like euphoria results and Michael realizes he just consumed vampire blood. Next? He's having serious anti-gravity issues.

OTHER VAMPIRE FACTS:

Instead of sleeping in coffins, these vampires hang from their bat cave upside down (like bats).

When a vampire is staked through the heart, one of two things can happen. Either guts and globs of goo shoot everywhere or the vampire looks like he's being electrocuted with sparks flying everywhere. (There are only male vampires featured in this film.)

One weapon the boys used against vampires involved filling squirtguns with a garlic "tea." With such monster soakers, they seemed successful at fending the vampires off until a couple more resourceful fang-bearers entered the house through the chimney - Santa Claus style.

STARS: Jason Patric, Corey Haim, Kiefer Sutherland, Jami Gertz, Corey Feldman, Dianne Wiest, Edward Herrmann, Alex Winter, Jamison Newlander, and Barnard Hughes

Guest Post By Author of "Jinn Nation" - Caroline Barnard Smith

2011-08-12T03:00:00.000-07:00

Author Caroline Barnard Smith

Caroline Barnard-Smith has been writing stories since she was five. Having earned a bachelor’s in English Literature from the University of Portsmouth, she now lives in Devon, England with her husband and baby daughter. That's where she writes about ruthless vampires, lovelorn zombies and heinous blood cults!

Caroline's short stories have been published in numerous small press magazines, including Ballista, Hungur, Night to Dawn, and on the web at Dark Fire Fiction.

Caroline’s debut dark fantasy novel, Dunraven Road, was published by Immanion Press in June 2009. For various exciting reasons she’s since turned her hand to indie publishing. Jinn Nation is her first full-length independently published novel.

When she’s not writing, Caroline is busy running her handmade craft business, CazzCraft, selling both online and at craft fairs.

This (blog post and book excerpt) is the first time we meet Thad, a geeky, timid character from Jinn Nation who is nevertheless determined to become one of the jinn. He thinks Christa might provide him with some jinn-related answers when she breezes into his book shop one afternoon, little knowing the terrifying power she possesses.

******

New York City
Thad hummed as he wiped the tattered duster along the shelves. Cleaning made him feel calm and accomplished. It also prevented his thoughts from straying to the duties he was committed to carrying out that night. Sometimes he could work for an entire ten minutes without thinking about it. Then the cold, dread fear would flash through his mind again and he would pause, duster in hand, and tremble. When the bell above the shop door jingled to announce the first customer of the afternoon, Thad turned towards the sound eagerly, a practiced smile on his face.

“Good afternoon, miss.”

The woman nodded politely but declined to reply. She looked round at the shelves of books, hands thrust down into the pockets of her jeans. She was pretty, Thad decided, in a pedestrian sort of way. She wasn’t his type at all. The woman was far too skinny, too fragile-looking, and the hair straggling in unkempt tufts to her shoulders only made her appear wild and strange. Still, Thad was used to seeing unusual customers pass through the doors of Gorski’s Esoteric Texts and Occult Supplies. Strangeness was an inherent part of the job.

“Can I help you with anything?”

This time, the woman spoke. “No I’m fine, thanks. Just browsing.”

She smiled, making the corners of her eyes crease, and walked past Thad into the bowels of the shop. Thad tried to appear casual as he passed behind his desk and turned on the monitor hidden behind it. He didn’t like to spy on his customers but the very nature of a book shop, especially one with so many aisles of text for people to hide behind, made trust hard to come by. It was a lesson he had learnt through grim experience. He had once found a doped-up vagrant passed out at the back of the shop, laid out flat between ‘Power Animals and Totems’ and ‘African Tribal Magick’. The latter was an area Thad had to keep a particularly close eye on. He assumed the black and white photos of heavily breasted women in ceremonial dress had something to do with the loiterers he often had to remove from those shelves.

Thad watched the woman, small and grainy on the monitor, as she slowly walked the aisles, one hand running along the spines of the books beside her. When she stopped before a section entitled ‘Jinn – Legends and Mythcraft’, he swallowed thickly. It was a certain type of person who was interested in the dark legends of the jinn. He waited, his breathing becoming fast and irregular, wanting to be sure the woman was not simply bored or lost amongst the shelves. To his delight, she remained where she was, head bent at an angle as she read the names of the books. He ran a hand through his gently greying hair and followed in the direction she had taken, creeping up so silently behind her that when he spoke, she started with surprise.

“I don’t get much call for information on the jinn. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather see some books of love spells?”

The woman looked at him with distaste. “I didn’t come here for love spells. They don’t work, anyway. Those books only exist so that people like you can prise money from the lonely and the desperate.”

A strange headache started in the back of Thad’s brain. It buzzed and irritated like a trapped fly, momentarily robbing him of concentration. He nodded slowly, struggling for an answer. “I should have known you were no mere initiate to the world of the occult,” he finally said. “You have the look about you. A certain knowing in the eyes.”

The woman was staring at him, making him feel uneasy. “Why are you so fascinated by the jinn?” she said. “You’ve never even met one.”

“That’s true, but I would like to. I would like to meet one very much.” Thad felt as though some alien being had taken over his body. He could feel the floor beneath his feet, was aware of the breath entering and leaving his lungs and of the earthy, fresh smell of the many books surrounding him. He could feel these things, yet he seemed to have lost all control. He didn’t want to tell the woman about his fascination with the jinn. In his head he was silently screaming at himself even as the words passed his own lips; yet he was utterly powerless to prevent himself from speaking.

“It’s more than that,” the woman was saying. She paused, head cocked, wide green-grey eyes boring a path into the deepest parts of Thad’s soul. He thought he whimpered, but he wasn’t sure. After a few seconds, the woman smiled in triumph. “You want to be one,” she said. “You want to be turned jinn.” Her smile faded. “Why?”

Thad willed himself not to speak again, not to reveal his closest secrets to this petite yet terrifying stranger. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, sweat standing out along his receding hairline.

“Why?” the woman asked again.

White flashes danced before Thad’s eyes and his head began to swim. “Because anything has to be better than this,” he blurted. He felt as if the words were being forcefully torn from his throat. “Every day when I wake up I want to do something exciting. I want to have adventures. I want to travel and meet women and have experiences. But every day I put those thoughts out of my head, come downstairs and open the shop. I serve the customers, I sell them things. Every goddamn day is the same. I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.”

“So you think the jinn will offer you an adventure?” the woman said. “An experience?” Her voice had softened. “They’d probably just eat you.”

“So you do know about them.” Thad thought for a moment. “Are you one of them?”

His sudden sense of quiet awe at being in the presence of a jinn was squashed when the woman began to laugh. She lifted a hand to her mouth in an attempt to hide it.

“So what are you?” Thad was beginning to lose his temper. This was his shop, his property. What right did this strange woman have to barge in and cast some sort of truth spell on him?

“I’m not jinn,” the woman said. She studied Thad for several seconds before releasing him and turning away. “You don’t have the information I want. Your head is full of stories and fantasies.” She began making her way towards the door. “Stay away from the jinn,” she called over her shoulder. “They’re not nice people.”

Thad’s head didn’t clear until the bell over the door jingled again, signalling the woman’s departure. He lifted a hand to his chest to feel his heart beating so hard it threatened to splinter his rib cage. He had seen some spooky shit in his time as the proprietor of the shop, but nothing had ever shaken him up this badly. Thad walked back to his desk and collapsed on the chair behind it, content to spend the rest of the afternoon in quiet meditation. Strange people are par for the course, he told himself. This shop attracts all sorts, there’s nothing to be afraid of. He repeated these phrases many times, yet his quickened heart refused to calm down until he’d reached for the half-bottle of brandy hidden in a side drawer and slugged back two generous mouthfuls.

Follow the Caroline's blog tour: /barnardsmith.wordpress.com/jinn-nation-blog-tour/

Vampegeddon - Lamest Of All Crippled Movies

2011-08-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

Directed by Jeffrey Alan Miller. With Michael Alvarez, Richard Anderson, Josh Bingenheimer, Jenna Contreras and MORE, "Vampegeddon" is a "don't bother to see" film.

I tried watching this very low budget work: "Vampegeddon" and cannot believe I hung in there for a full five minutes. I never made it to the part where a Goth college girl, Melissa, is supposed to open an old book of spells to resurrected a heinous vampire. The animation was so horrid, with fake scenery and bad camera work, I began to feel as though not even the return of Jesus' could save viewers from the horrors of this movie. (It's so putrid it could gag a maggot).

The fighting scenes (I watched two) are done in awkward and choppy slow-motion and that's not because the camera slowed things down ... that's just the acting. It looks choppy and forced. Don't waste two minutes watching this flick. Trust me. I'm doing you a favor by saving you time so you can watch something more worthwhile.

Review of "Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl" (2009) - DVD

2011-08-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl (hilarious action, twisted comedy, sick-and-wrong but frolicsome gore-fest). Directed by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Naoyuki Tomomatsu.

HOW THE MOVIE BEGINS:
Monami looks like your typical girl-next door. She's cute, giggles a lot and seems utterly innocent in her Catholic school-girl type of high school uniform with white knee socks. Yet after she corners a most sought-after classmate named Mizushima, to give him a piece of chocolate, he soon learns the filling is not maraschino cherry as it first appeared but it's Monami's own coagulated blood. Unfortunately, he's already eaten it and he immediately becomes very sick with her vampire DNA.

Thus begins the amazing tale of a half-vampire, with all the twists and creative turns involved in hormone-driven teenagers attending high school together.

INTERESTING CHARACTERS IN THIS MOVIE:
1. A hunchbacked custodian who looks very much like Quasimodo (the Hunchback of Notre Dame). Yet his name is Egore, coincidental to the Frankestein fanatic that horror fans are all familiar with.

2. A spineless, thumb-sucking "mad scientist" and vice principal who makes "artwork" out of dismembering cadavers and reattaching foreign limbs in the most bizarre places for a "new" body. He also wears a shrunken human head in lieu of a corsage in his lapel.

3. A vampire whose predatory mouth turns ginormous and fang-filled, when ordinarily she looks like a typical cuddly teenager.

4. A team of girls who practice cutting their wrists in search of community attention and fame. Think of the wrist cutting contest as the horror film's alternative for a normal pie eating contest and you get the idea for what sort of community support launches such a bizarre athletic endeavor.

5. A very sexy but psychotic school nurse who gives Nurse Ratched (One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest) a run for her status as the most evil nurse ever seen on film.

Beyond all the highly entertaining characters there's lots of blood spurting from decapitated bodies as though the cadavers were all part of a much larger bloody sprinkler system. Think: bloody showers EVERYWHERE! There's also repetitive maniacal laughter throughout.

Beyond all the hilarity, this film presents interesting special effects, such as a girl who continually evolves into a mechanical spider-type manifestation of the horrifying monster; the kind of evil creature that the most unsettling nightmares are made of.

I rate this film a definite worth seeing; especially since it's a free download with the most limited subscription to Netflix.

Vampire Review Apologizes For Sporadic Publishing Lately

2011-07-30T11:57:00.001-07:00

The author of this blog, Tami Jackson, (aka "moi") moved from Washington state to Southern California during the first week in July 2011. Finding a new neighborhood, new home, brand new job, new stores, new friends, a new veterinarian, doggie daycare, new farmer's market and much more ... then having the Pug go through unexpected dental and forehead surgery which called for much comfort care ... well, something just had to go on hiatus this month or this blogger would explode into a million little pieces!

With that explanation in mind, please accept my deepest apologies for the sporadic (at best) schedule of postings here lately. I value my readers immensely and promise to get back on track (posting at least three times a week when I do). For right now? Here's a real and true haunting story that happened inside the new-to-blogger apartment. The home was built in the early 1900s and overlooks the Pacific Ocean. (It's very entertainingly and amazingly haunted.)

"BITTEN" - Compelling Book Review By Guest Writer, Kelly Gordon

2011-07-22T13:21:00.000-07:00

While the vampires here at VampireReview.blogspot.com currently hybernate inside their caskets (soon to re-emerge) we're all grateful to Kelly Gordon, guest blogger, for this very compelling review of an awesome werewolf book.

BITTEN by Kelley Armstrong

This book helps you look into the life of a woman named Elena who was changed into a werewolf without her consent and shows the struggles with her strong personality and stubbornness in belonging to a pack. Elena struggles with her werewolf needs because she works and lives with humans.

Elena has a difficult time with choosing between two men who are prominent in her life, putting her pack at risk. She must go outside the pack code to save the pack from murderous mutts. Elena puts herself at risk as well as the men she loves to save them all.

The characters in this story draw you in...whether you love them or hate them. I found it hard to put the book down. The story wraps you up in love, survival, intrigue, belonging and trust. It is a great read.

Must See: "Prey" (2010 movie)

2011-06-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

PREY (2010)

Talk about a super cool movie. I'm more of an animal rights person than a hunter but when the men in this family go shooting for wild hogs, gone even wilder thanks to chemicals used as fertilizer, I was glued to the screen and found myself wishing I was part of the hunting party. That is until the dog and then humans started to die.

Yes this is a foreign film and you must read subtitles to understand what's really going on but you will utterly and completely love "Prey." It's scary and creepy and full of gore and it's all rolled up into one hour and nineteen fascinating minutes of horrifying pleasure.

Prey tells the story of Nathan (Gregoire Colin) who is soon to be a father but his father in-law is so horribly cruel and wants his daughter to have an abortion simply to continue working in the family business. You'll completely love to loathe that despicable man. I cannot say more without spoiling the movie ... but trust me when I say this is one you definitely wanna watch.

Director: Antoine Blossier
Writers: Antoine Blossier (screenplay), Erich Vogel (screenplay)
Stars: Bérénice Bejo and Grégoire Colin to name only two.

I Exorcise "The Rite" (2011) To NOT Believe Anything In This Horror Movie

2011-06-21T10:19:00.000-07:00

The Rite (January 2011) - Drama | Horror | Thriller

I love watching scary movies in the dark, alone - with just my dogs, and figured any horror film with Anthony Hopkins in it must be ridiculously incredible and exciting. You share my meaning: Right? I love such films because they make me wonder "what if that was real?" Sadly, this one left no room for such entertaining ponderings, not even when it resurrected the the idea behind "The Exorcist" (scariest movie from the early 1970s) and I thoroughly loved that flick and The Exorcist sequels.

Admitting that I love evil possession movies and setting that idea aside, after watching "The Rite" - with all its Catholic propaganda and a red-eyed donkey leaving hoof marks on a young boy's back - I simply did not feel moved by any of the demon possession stories presented here. (The Exorcist was so MUCH scarier and dramatically more believable.)

BASIC STORY LINE:
An American seminary student, Michael Kovak (Colin O'Donoghue) grew up inside a funeral home where he watched his dad prepare his own mother for burial. Nearing his seminary graduation, Kovak strongly doubts his religious calling and wants to leave the ministry. So he negotiates with the Church to avoid paying back his student loans. That's how he ends up in Italy where he's supposed to study exorcisms, of all things.

So when Kovak meets his mentor, the very eccentric Father Lucas Trevant (Anthony Hopkins), he's skeptical and assumes the priest may be using trickery to "treat" mentally ill patients who Father Trevant claims are possessed. Yet in time, those afflicted actually begin to see slow improvement with the priest's interception, unless of course we begin to count those who were reported dead - as the pregnant 16-year-old who bleeds to death while restrained to a hospital bed. Eventually Trevant himself becomes possessed by Satan and that's when we get to see the Father slap a sweet little girl in the face, followed by his body twisting in all sorts of interesting contortions and disfigurements.

POSITIVES:
* I love anything paranormal so I liked this film - even when this movie required that I overlook a very strong dogmatic push for accepting Roman Catholic church power.
* Great make-up and animation of Father Trevant when he's posessed (he looks really truly evil).

NEGATIVES:
* Ignorantly demonizes animals (cats, donkeys, frogs) and conveys those innocent creatures in a most evil light.
* This movie seems to do what my childhood religious cult did and elevates evil as being more powerful than good ... claiming Satan will target anyone who does not believe in him and even Catholic Priests (God's servants) are completely helpless against the likes of him.

CONCLUSION:
This movie is worth seeing but rent it (don't buy the DVD). I'm glad I did not pay to see this on the big screen. While it proved very entertaining and Anthony Hopkins performed extraordinarily well, I did not have as much respect for his depiction of Father Trevant's character as I held for his conveyance of Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs). This movie wasn't even believable in regards to possession phenomena (not even while it claims to be based on a true story). So while I liked the film, I did not love it. In fact, I will be exercising "The Rite" to sell or give my DVD away.

Director: Mikael Håfström
Writers: Michael Petroni (based on a reportedly "true story" by Journalist Matt Baglio)

Guest Author Sarah E. Glenn (

2011-06-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

Add caption

Vampire Review is very proud that guest blogger and author Sarah E. Glenn stopped by to present this fun look into the motivation behind her recently released title: All This and Family, Too. Available $5.00 Kindle edition and $15.99 in paperback.

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts

Guest Post By Sarah E. Glenn

I've tried reading the 'serious' vampire novels - people like Anne Rice, etc. They really don't hold my interest. Even now, having written a vampire novel, I still don't read most of the vamp stories out there.

To me, the devil is in the details. There are a lot of brooding vampires out there with both angst and income of unknown origin. Every vampire began as a human being, with desires, fears, and hopes. How did they get from there to here? That's what I want to learn. Some novels simply define vampires as a separate race, but I never find those as interesting.

When I do read vampire novels, I enjoy authors like MaryJanice Davidson (Undead and Unwed) and Christopher Moore (You Suck). Their characters never brood for undefined reasons. In fact, they often brood over problems they've caused through their own ignorance and stupidity. That's something that resonates with me, for reasons that would take too long to enumerate.
My own stories frequently involve extraordinary people in ordinary situations - ones they are ill-equipped to handle. It wouldn't be any fun if everything went smoothly. Things go awry in very amusing ways - not for them, but for me.

All This and Family, Too is the story of a lesbian vampire who moves into a gated community and learns that deeds can be restricted in more than one way. Cynthia Leach no longer has control of her work or waking schedule, nor an appointment book for the vampire hunters that drop by. Will she survive this tightly-regulated environment with the mixed blessing of her loving but dysfunctional family?

Sarah E. Glenn's Bio: I have a B.S. in Journalism from the University of Kentucky. I've held a number of entirely unrelated jobs since that time: art intern at the billboard company, NCIC operator for my local police department, and teaching assistant for medical terminology. I like to write mystery and horror stories, especially when they include a sidecar of funny.

Vampires Los Muertos Will Turn You Into A Mindless Zombie (Guaranteed)

2011-06-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

I find it quite amazing that a movie made in 2002, Vampires Los Muertos, would look so much like The Hardy Boys television series filmed twenty years earlier. Not much seems to have improved since then in the way this low-budget action-flick was shot, directed or edited. In fact, many of the lines and scenes presented are so 1980's (lame) that I give it credit purely for having such an ominous groan factor. (I wouldn't be surprised if you end up laughing out loud if you have the stamina and desire to watch it.)

HUGE GROAN FACTOR:

The movie is full of incredibly lame scenes and overused movie lines. Here are a few examples:

"Anybody who wants to make a run for it now would be a good time."
"It's a trap"
Hydraulic wench repeatedly gets jammed but the vampire hunters insist on using it until their stupidity proves so very frustrating the movie becomes funny (and it's supposed to be a horror film).

EVEN MORE LAME: Main character Derek Bliss (Jon Bon Jovi) questions his rag-tag crew of vampire-hunters about what motivates them to hunt. Then, as he continues standing before them looking stupid he admits: "Me? I'm a dumb son-of-a-bitch who'd rather be surfing."

BASIC STORY: Pretty boy Derek travels with a side-kick Spanish teen (don't recognize his name/face), and an attractive woman named Zoey (Natasha Wagner) whose vampire-bitten but who who takes pills to stave off her blood thirst. Along with those three is a hot-looking priest/vampire-hunter, Father Rodriguez (Cristián de la Fuente). The four pick up a token black male (Darius McCrary) but his rough-and-tough character doesn't last long before a sexy vampire woo's him and he's turned "blood sucker" and then killed by his traveling companions. So the four primary vampire hunters continue traveling in a rickety old bus they borrowed from a monastery called "MT Grace" in search for vampires but Zoey loses her "stay human" pills and begins to turn vampire enroute.

IN THIS MOVIE, VAMPIRES (including one intensely beautiful vampire who won't die, played by Arly Jover)* Kill for pleasure and amusement

Move faster than a projected bullet
Often drink blood AFTER the human has been decapitated/murdered (is fully dead)
Hang dying humans from hooks like hogs from the slaughter
Burst into flames when exposed to sunlight
Have retractable fangs and dark rings around their retinas
Can be roped like a steer and dragged into the sunlight where they explode in fire
Are killed by sunlight, beheading and/or a wooden stake driven into the heart

CONCLUSION: All in all? I'd probably recommend that my readers stay away from this one (if I wasn't so brain-dead after watching it, myself). That is unless of course you really enjoy low-budget films that make you groan mindlessly just like a zombie (as I just did).

The grossest scene (as I saw it) involved a vampire slowly yanking on a victim's tongue before her fangs elongated and that's when she killed him - through his open mouth. There's one sex scene where it's strongly implied that one of the hunters receives an oral favor and that's where he is bitten (on his unmentionables).

Director and writer: Tommy Lee Wallace

"HIDE AND SEEK" (Great 2005 Horror Movie On DVD)

2011-06-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

As usual, this review posts no spoilers. If you liked Sixth Sense ... you'll love this one!
Robert De Niro plays Dr. Callaway, a very patient man and mental health therapist whose recently widowed. He wants to help his grade-school-aged daughter Emily (Dakota Fanning) put her life back together, after the child found her beautiful and loving mother bled-out in the family bathtub. So, Dr. Callaway relocates with Emily to a wooded and remote home in the country.
Famke Janssen plays a supporive role as a child psychologist and Dr. Callaway's understudy and academic admirer. She also tries to help Emily overcome pain from the trauma and loss. It's clear that Emily really loves and trusts Janssen's character while Dr. Callaway also confides in her.
Meanwhile, soon as Dr. Callaway and Emily settle into their new home all sorts of horrific things begin to happen and beyond feeling as though the house may be haunted, I began to grow wary of this little girl since Dr. Callaway discovered a dead cat in new bathtub and horribly evil things written in Emily's penmanship and the cat's blood all over the walls. Interestingly, Emily blames such mayhem on her seemingly invisible friend named Charlie (and that's where the mystery in this movie really begins).
Nosey neighbors and a small town cop play major roles in how the story unfolds. Dr. Callaway works overtime to hide criminal evidence and washes away details that might land his daughter in an insane asylum forever.
While there are no vampires, this horror film offers a lot of blood, mystery and wonderful creepy intrigue. The best part? It has a compelling twist at the end that will take viewers by wonderful surprise.
Director: John Polson
Writer: Ari Schlossberg

*Vampire Review is published by SunTiger MOJO*

"Priest" (2011) Yay on Story. Boo On Visuals

2011-06-02T01:13:00.000-07:00

PRIEST, 2011 movie based on the Korean comic "Priest" by comic book aritst Hyung Min-woo. I post no spoilers here, except let me strongly suggest that you wait until this movie comes out on DVD. I really enjoyed the sound and story-line, watched this movie on the big screen in 3D, and left the theater having been fully entertained (yet I have strong reservations about the low quality of visuals).

ABOUT THE VAMPIRES:
Each individual vampire (save one) seems to have paper-thin white skin, a huge grotesque mouth with enormous fangs and no eyes or nose to speak of. Those brandishing fangs are all naked but if you're worried about seeing any genitalia - don't. The vampire anatomy looks very much like the Ken doll (of Barbie fame). The vampires can move inhumanely fast, but when they move slowly their posture is similar to Smeagol, the Gollem creature in Lord of the Rings, and his hunched-over skeletal creeping.

Everybody's basically celibate in this action-packed film where the Christian church rules the day as the city's political government. The super-human vampire slayers known as "priests" (who come in both genders, interestingly) protect the city from the scourges on humanity, also known as a most hideous sort of vampire army which was supposed to have been eradicated - until now-w-w.

"PRIEST" - MOVIE ASPECTS IN SHORT:

Action: hugely entertaining stunts with many incredible hand-to-hand combat scenes, some involving guns, knives, crosses, fangs, special ninja-like weapons and exploding motorcycles

Acting: excellent!

Dialogue: some of it very lame (cheesy even). I groaned once or twice thanks to ridiculous lines

Gore: Hugely entertaining and fun. Think: decapitations and newly made vampires hanging like slimy dead pigs inside womb-like sacks in what looks like a meat locker

Religion: the church behaves much more like a horrible and oppressive government than a spiritual practice. There's a great deal of religious posturing but not much dogma presented. (Thank goodness.)

Sound: excellent (put it this way, I never had to think about the sound - it was just perfect)

Sex: none (not even an exposed ankle)

Slayers - known as "priests," these super-human slayers wear a tattoo in the middle of their foreheads so civilians can quickly identify and avoid them

Story line: very worth-while and entertaining (for some reason parts of this movie reminded me a little of Dirty Harry

Surprise: I jumped in my seat; once

Vampires - fascinating (genuinely loved the horribly disfigured beasts - grotesque as they genuinely were)

Violence: 65% of the movie.

Visuals: the beginning involves very low-quality "line-art" cartoon. Not only were characters shoddily drawn but some were blurry (at least that was an aspect of 3D, even with the glasses on). Beyond that? 85% of this film seriously caused me to feel like I was sitting under a dark rain cloud thanks to it's persistent lack of color.

RESERVATIONS/COMPLAINT
This movie is mostly COLORLESS. You could watch it on a very old black-and-white T.V. and still not miss much beyond the occasional yellow flames that burned from a communal fire. To describe it as "very gray" is an understatement. After all the rain we've endured around Seattle here lately I seriously wanted to see some colorful vegetation or clothing to give the movie more depth, aesthetically. Quite often the large movie screen would show little more than what looked like three black dots moving across a large white sheet of paper and then the camera might zoom in until those dots evolved into three turbo-charged motorcycles racing through the pathetically barren and flat white-sandy desert. (I love motorcycles and yet, after studying the details of each vehicle for a few minutes, I grew very tired of looking at bikes just speeding over sand.)

Even with the poor visual aspects - I think this movie is a worth see (but on DVD ... not at the movies and definitely not like I saw it, in 3D). Save your money. You really won't miss anything by watching it on your TV.

Director: Scott Charles Stewart
Writers: Cory Goodman, Min-Woo Hyung (graphic novel series "Priest")
Stars: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet and Maggie Q

To read another honest review, with links to the trailer, about this same movie, visit Shah's blog.

HUGE MYSTERY - HAUNTED HOUSE - UNIQUE INSIGHT - WILLIAM ROSS RUST HOME

2011-05-30T17:07:00.000-07:00

William R. Rust House -

1001 N. I St.

Tacoma, WA, USA

This notable landmark, the Colonial style William Ross Rust House is a private estate built in 1905 (tax records claim it was built in 1907) in North Tacoma, Washington, USA, and it has quite a bit of fascinating mystery and gossip surrounding it. The photo, right, is widely available on the Internet as a public document. And here's a high resolution photo of the William Ross Rust house (worth the peak).

WHY I DECIDED TO RESEARCH THIS HOME:
I first heard of this house a week or two ago and have continued to feel haunted by the stories surrounding it. Deciding I should investigate to learn more, I quickly realized that what's available through typical research means (e.g., common Google search) only created more questions for me when documentation about this house, and the family that lived here, didn't match either the stories I'd heard or messages I had gleaned, intuitively.

That's why I resorted to recruiting Doug Grimes, with all his skills and experience at researching family genealogy. Thanks to him, I am now fully engaged by the terrible stories affiliated with the William Ross Rust (1850-1928) family home and I now regard the rumors as being at least partly true. In the very least, the evidence suggests there has been an attempt by William Ross Rust to hide some of his family information.

The bigger question that remains is whether or not there was a larger attempt to cover up a horrid crime committed on the front porch of this home by the man who the locals treated as a respectable magnate. You'll have to read this posting to the end before you know all the fascinating questions, be fully entertained by how this story winds and twists, and then peruse my initial conclusion.

I first became fascinated with this house when another psychic told me just recently that she'd been inside this house with the mission of launching a house clearing effort. Without any visible remorse or embarrassment, she admitted the home became so filled with spooky paranormal events that she had to abandon the mission. Knowing that I often clear houses, professionally, she asked if I'd be willing to accompany her back inside this home, but when I admitted that I charge a reasonable fee, and guarantee my work or provide a full refund if the customer's not completely satisfied, she all but rescinded the offer (and I'm firm about NOT doing house clearings without being compensated - thanks to the personal risk involved and thanks to my ethical beliefs of always participating in fair trade practices).

All the same, I felt the following story that psychic told me was at least partly true and very fascinating. Not only did I suddenly feel as though I instantly knew the victim in this story, but the young male involved was actually a fun-loving person who was simply trying to live authentically and his life-style conflicted with the conservative times and with his father's need to uphold a certain public image.

Not having gone to the house myself, I reasoned that this house could legitimately be haunted and there might be an element of resentment that's still there in regards to disowning family members and abhorring controlling or severely dominant male-figures. Yet I cannot say who or what would be causing the current paranormal activity being reported there, not without actually being inside the home/experiencing it for myself. *Note: sometimes I can read a house without physically going there but this particular home is very complex/confusing when viewed from afar.

Beyond this home being rumored to be very haunted, a recent accidental death is now being blamed on the resident spirit(s) but I don't feel at liberty to go into much detail about that - not in a public way.

JUICIEST RUMORS ABOUT WILLIAM ROSS RUST - "THE MAN"

A highly respected business man, William Ross Rust (hereafter referred to as W.R.) traveled quite often. During one trip to Europe, his grown son (as the story was told to me, the son's name was not given) was tired of conforming to social-standards-of-the-day and he hooked his horses up to a buggy and drove around Tacoma with his male-lover on the seat beside him. The two men kissed in public, which was something W.R. would never have endorsed or tolerated. The moment that W.R. arrived home early from his trip, having heard of his adult son's escapades while abroad, he reportedly shot his son point-blank and killed him. The "murder" is rumored to have happened on the front porch of the above mentioned home. According to rumor, death records listed the son's death as due to "natural causes" thanks to cultural homophobia and the fact that W.R. Rust was highly respected as an important citizen in Tacoma and able to launch a successful cover-up effort. *Again, this is current day rumor and no printed or published information clearly substantiates this story.* (Read on.)

STILL A MYSTERY - OR PROOF OF A COVER-UP?

Initially upon doing an Internet search, I learned that W.R. had one son, Henry Arthur Rust (Aug. 21, 1900 - May 13, 1936). Immediately this information seemed to completely dispel everything that I'd picked up intuitively and everything I'd been told via rumor because public record shows that H. Arthur out-lived his father by 8 years. (W.R. died in 1928 at age 78).

Given this evidence ("proof") that W.R. had NOT murdered his son -- something just kept nagging at me about this house's story. I felt I could NOT just let it go. I felt as though a young homosexual male had visited me in spirit and wanted me to know the full story but all records documenting Henry Arthur's life not only suggested that he outlived his father but he had gotten married and had children ... So I dug a little deeper into the research to discover why I was feeling so inspired to tell this gay man's story - or "the rumor."

A CLOSER LOOK INTO WILLIAM ROSS RUST's PERSONALITY:
W.R. Rust was born in Pennsylvania on August 1, 1850. Later, he moved westward and purchased the Tacoma Smelting & Refining Company, a business that occupied 67 acres, some of it was said to occupy ancient Indian burial grounds. W.R. purchased the company somewhere around 1890 from a cash-strapped business man. Today that smelting property is undergoing massive clean-up and environmental restoration work, thanks to all the toxic waste created by the smelter's smoke stack emissions and the release of heavy metals such as lead and arsenic into the local air, soil and water. It's cleanup is financed by an EPA superfund but experience suggests - since the company was shut down many years ago - most of the toxic waste has already been widely distributed (most of the damage has been done, irretrievably).

Yet I digress. Getting back to the story of W.R. long before he died, he did something very public that suggests he was either very unhappy or very controlling in regards to his marriage. In the 1910 Pierce County Census - 13th Census of the United States (see more details below) W.R. felt obligated to document that he was married and living with his wife, whom he's listed as 12 years his junior, but W.R. left her name completely OFF the record (did not acknowledge his spouse by name, not even when all other contributors to that same census did mention their spouses by name). Interestingly, W.R. did manage to list the full name of his servant woman (*who was closer in age to him than his wife was*) and he listed both of his sons by their names as well.

Did you catch that? While most documents only mention W.R. as having one son, from the census we can see he actually had two. (The eldest son, Howard, is most often omitted from public records.) What's more, other legal documents reveal that W.R.'s wife was named Helen M. Smith, born in 1863. Yet, again, the Rust Family Papers and many other Internet sources list only W.R. with one son, and quite often no wife is mentioned.

SO THIS IS WHERE I ASK YOU, DEAR INTELLIGENT READER:
When such a wealthy business man with strong political interests, finances much of the town's progress and he is so admired, politically, that the town Ruston was named after him, is it possible that he networked with the powers that be to hide a heinous crime he committed? Realizing that most readily accessible public documents have eliminated Rust's wife and son Howard from the record, is it not rather easy to jump to the conclusion that W.R. may have also committed murder (when his son was violating local laws and committing religious offense)? It's not too difficult to imagine how W.R. might have maneuvered his way through the police/local media mess by getting help to cover up his crime story.

CLARIFICATION OF THE RUMOR

Suggesting that the part of the rumor where W.R.'s son died at a very young age is true, on Aprill 11th, 1911, The Tacoma Times (local daily newspaper in operation since 1903) published the following article about young Howard L. Rust, who would have just reached 25-years-of-age had he lived two more days.

HOWARD L. RUST DIES SUDDENLY - The Tacoma Times (link to article)

Howard L. Rust, son of W. R. Rust of this city ruptured an artery in the heart while conversing with friends Saturday evening at Ranford, Wash., and died almost instantly. He would have been 25 years old yesterday.
His parents are on a return voyage from Europe now.
Young Rust went to Hanford on a ranch to build up his shattered health. He seemed to be gaining until the collapse came Saturday night.
He came to Tacoma with his father when four years of age. (End of article.)

My question to you, dear reader, is if Howard's death was truly due to a heart problem, as listed, then why did his father omit his name from all future public records? Would a loving father NOT want to keep his son's memory alive - forever?

MORE SPECIFICS THAT DOUG UNCOVERED FROM CENSUS RESEARCH
#1 - William Ross Rust's Household according to the 1910 Pierce County Census - 13th Census of the United States

William R. Rust, head of household, male, white, 57, married 25 years, born Pennsylvania, education able to read yes, education able to write yes,

wife's name completely omitted, wife, female, white, 45, married 25 years, born Colorado, education able to read yes, education able to write yes

Howard Rust, son, male, white, 23, single, born Colorado. education able to read yes, education able to write yes,

Henry A. Rust, son, male, white, 9, single, born Washington, education able to read yes, education able to write yes,

Pauline Fredericks, servant, female, white, 51, born Canada-French, education able to read (answer erased/blank), education able to write (answer erased/blank).

#2 - William Ross Rust's Household according to the 1920 Pierce County Census - 14th Census of the United States

William R. Rust, Head, age 66, married, born in Pennsylvania

Helen W. Rust, wife, age 52, married, born in Colorado *Note: Other references list her middle initial as M.

H. Arthur Rust, son, age 19, single, born in Washington

Marie R. Edenhuler (at least I think that's her last name/penmanship is difficult to read), servant, age 17 , single, born in Kansas, parents were born in Sweden

#3 - Son Henry Arthur's Household according to the 1930 Pierce County Census - 15th Census of the United States

Henry Arthur Rust, house number 1020, head of home, male, white, age 29, married, vice-president/investments, NOT a military veteran

Margaret Rust (wife), white, age 24

Billie J Rust (daughter) white, age 3

Margaret Rust (daughter) white, age 1-1/2

Bertha Wyss (female, servant from Switzerland) white, age 43

Dorothy Stubbs (female, servant from Washington state) white, age 22

MY CONCLUSION:

I feel rather strongly that W. R. Ross was a controlling jerk at times. He definitely did not approve of his son Howard's homosexuality (religiously or politically). That alone would be reason enough for a dogmatic individual like him to disown Howard (we've all run into that type of obnoxious control freak who insists everyone in the family should dress, behave and move about just like him).

Meanwhile, I feel like I've met the spirit of this younger guy, Howard, and he was rather fun to be around and his father simply did not appreciate him for all the sunshine and party spirit he brought into the home.

Yet I need to add a small detail to the above mentioned rumored story - where Howard was said to have been shot on the front porch. The psychic I spoke to said the home became so haunted after the young man's death that the surviving Rust family had to move into temporary shelter until a second house could be built over on Yakima street.

Indeed, I did find record of the family moving a year after Howard's death. Yet the reason given for the move, publicly, is that his mother, Helen, just felt the original home was much too large for her liking. She wanted a smaller home (one that W.R. rapidily built for her).

MORE SPECIFICALLY

The Rust Mansion, 1001 N. I St., Tacoma, WA, USA, 98402, was patterned on the John A. McCall home in Long Island, "Shadow Lawn." The Rusts sold their home in 1912 after the death of their son, Howard. Since then it has had many owners and was divided into apartments in the 1920's.

DOES THIS PROVE THE RUMOR IS NOT TRUE?
While modern thinkers might look at Howard's reported "cause of death" statement in 1911, which suggested he died of a weak heart, and observe that his brother Henry Arthur also died of a heart condition, years later, when he was 35 - and while observers might assume it's not too much of a stretch to think that both boys could have inherited the same genetic heart problem that killed them at such young ages - I'd like to remind my readers that both their father and mother lived 78 and 90 years, respectively. Their young deaths seem curious, at least.

RECAP ON THE FAMILY TREE (Source: govdocs.evergreen.edu)

* Father: William Ross Rust - Aug. 1, 1850 - Aug. 17, 1928 (78 years)

* Mother: Helen M. Smith - December 18, 1863 -October 19, 1954 (90 years)

* Son: Howard L. Rust - Aprill 11, 1886 - April 9, 1911 (24 years). Cause of death: reported heart ailment.

* Son: H. Arthur Rust, born August 21, 1900 - May 13, 1936 (35 years). Cause of death: reported heart ailment, leaving behind an estate of more than $600,000 (a ridiculously large some money in the day).

LOCATION OF THE W. R. Rust Home:

1001 N. I Street, Tacoma, WA USA, 98402
Location of the second, smaller home, where they moved after Howard died,

521 Yakima Ave. This landmark is in the vicinity (see map) of N Yakima Ave and N 9TH St., Tacoma, WA. The Tacoma Public Library holds claim to this photograph of the Rust's smaller Tacoma home (click above TPL link to see it).

*I hope you enjoyed this very detailed *spooky* report and would love it if you take the time to leave a comment - share your thoughts.*

The author of this article, Tami Jackson, can be contacted through her website.

THERE WILL BE BLOO-OO-OOD! ("Rose Red")

2011-05-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

Review Of Rose Red (TV Miniseries/Movie) by Stephen King

I watched Rose Red on DVD and felt thrilled by how the compelling main character is actually a house! Built in the early 1900s, this fictional mansion, which keeps building itself and expanding, eats people for breakfast, lunch and dinner (time of day seems to have no influence on the torture that this horrifying protagonist is capable of dishing out).

BASIC STORY SET UP:
When Parapsychology Professor, Dr. Joyce Reardon, played by Nancy Travis, decides to organize a research crew comprised of gifted psychics, empaths, an autistic teenager and an automatic writer, she claims that Rose Red is completely safe as a "sleeping cell" for researchers to investigate. Meanwhile, secretly, she schemes to fast-forward her writing and research career where she'll finally be adored and celebrated, professionally.

PHYSICAL FACTS:
The fictional story of Rose Red takes place in Seattle - and features a good amount of that city's scenic footage but Thornwood Castle, where the actual home stands and much of the film's footage was shot, is located in Lakewood, Washington (USA). If you're interested in staying in what is reported to be a legitimately "haunted facility" rooms can be rented since the castle now offers Bed-and-Breakfast services.

Here's the trailer.

While Stephen King's story claims the mansion was cursed because it was built upon ancient Native American burial grounds and three men in hard hats died during construction ... actor David Dukes (who played Dr. Carl Miller, head of the psychology department) really did pass away from a heart attack suffered during the film's shooting. That's why the series, Rose Red, is dedicated to him.

When Stephen King makes his signature appearance in this work (as he seems to do in all his films) he's delivering beer and pizza to a very frightened crowd of psychic researchers and unlike fans who want to massage King's feet -- fictional pizza customers treated him with utter disdain.

CAUTION:If you're looking for a horror film where you feel uplifted by the ending you may be disappointed. At least I felt disappointed when the house consumed my absolutely favorite character, Nick Hardaway, telepath and psychologist (played by Julian Sands) when he fights the demon-possessed carpet to save an automatic writer named Cathy Kramer (played by Judith Ivey).

CONCLUSION:
This is a very excellent film, one I will definitely watch again.

Horror Movie That Leaves You Laughing Ridiculously Hard

2011-05-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

The Cottage: Sleeps Six Bloody Comfortably (2008) is a "must see" film for horror fans, even for those who typically don't like slasher films. I've never laughed so hard over horror ... usually HATE hack-and-slash. Yet I'm very glad I made this one an exception. (I bought the dvd used from a sale rack for $2.50.)

My spouse doesn't tolerate watching ANY kind of horror, so long after he went to bed, I sat out in the dark living room genuinely laughing my butt-off while the main characters depicted here screamed in bloody horror. I'm so glad I found this particular trailer, below, because it adequately conveys precisely why the film is so funny. The story starts out with brothers kidnapping a sufficiently intelligent blond woman, played by Jennifer Lesley Ellison, for ransom but Murphy's law really comes into play as even the most unimaginable things go wrong.

My only reservation (if I had any) pertained to the way Jennifer's character dies. She's the only starring female depicted in this movie and a farmer's huge blade severs her head through the mouth. For me, that represented suppressing the female voice and wreaked of male dominance and emphasized masculine hatred toward women. Not only did nobody else in the movie die that way but two males in this story blathered much greater stupidity than the self-sufficient female did. Whoever wrote that aspect into the film can kiss my plump female badonkadonk. (You suck.)

The rest of this movie though? Thumbs and both big toes are pointing up.

Director: Paul Andrew Williams
Writer:
Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith Jennifer Ellison

Black Death - History You Love To Hate - Movie Released 11 June 2010 (UK)

2011-05-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

97 min - Historical Adventure | Drama | Real Horror ... bought my DVD from Costco: $15

While Black Death is NOT about Vampires per se - I felt anyone who loves old-time witch-hunt stories with all the historic hysteria that led to demonizing the innocent would really appreciate this film, which is now on DVD. Don't get me wrong, what's presented here is pretty hard to stomach ... but the movie will stick with you long after you've engaged yourself in it.

Filmed in England, Black Death presents the Christian-dominated medieval era, 1348 specifically, when the bubonic plague first broke in every community save one - a remote Pagan village. The film begins with a young monk named Osmund whose torn about the suffering he sees in Christianized England and he also observes that his fellow monks are not immune to such agonizing contagious death, as they too are being buried.

What's more, Osmund also questions his love for his beautiful childhood companion and seeks a sign from God to leave the monastery in search for her. That's when violent men appear before the monks and they're seeking a guide for their quest to find the supposed "evil" that caused this plague so they can destroy it. They've heard stories of necromancy and bring a heavy torture device with them on wooden carriage. They must find that scape-goat to quench their thirst for revenge. After all - surely a single human being is responsible for bringing so much destruction to the hordes of plague sufferers.

As the young monk leads the crusade, the Christians encounter remote witch burnings and murdering raiders along the way. The acting, action and suspense in this film are all top notch. (See the trailer.)

One of my favorite comments under the above posted trailer follows: posted by chunkylover5311: "This is hard to masturbate to."

LOL! With all the violence and hatred? That's a gross understatement. This movie will NOT leave you feeling warm and fuzzy AT ALL.

FIRST IMPRESSION WAS NOT MY LASTING RESOLVE:
I often buy dvds to resell on eBay. Immediately after watching Black Death, I decided (because the lasting message was rather uncomfortable to absorb) that I would toss this flick on my "to sell" pile. Yet days later ... I'm still thinking about this film and all the hatred that religions of all kinds have perpetuated throughout history. Because it's still making me think and because this movie conveys that hatred and killing is despicable in ANY religion - I'm now deciding to add my copy of "Black Death" to my alphabetized collection of dvds.

Black Death
Screenplay: Dario Poloni
Directed: Christopher Smith
Stars: Eddie Redmayne (Osmund), Sean Bean (Cruisader) and Carice van Houten (Pagan Necromancer)

HAPPY CREEPY MOTHER'S DAY (MY WORK: SHORT HORROR ART)

2011-05-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

The other day, I was surfing eBay and marveled at how ridiculously creative was the "creepy doll" art I saw for sale there - some dolls selling for $150, $300 and more. I decided to try my own hand at resurrecting a child's toy into a horror-doll ... so I went to the local Goodwill and purchased a toy for $3.99. Then? Taking that innocent-looking-plastic baby-doll and turning it into a short HORROR film took some work (but it was all very fun).

Check it the following result if you have the stomach for HORROR. (You've been warned.) Actually? It's just still-art, rotating on a lazy Susan to a music box tune ... so if you can tolerate even scary pictures? You should be okay.

Happy Mother's Day everybody!

Quotes From Renfeild Slave Of Dracula

2011-05-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Renfield: Slave of Dracula, by Barbara Hambly

I don't know why I've never read this book before. Perhaps its because I just now recently picked up my own paperback-copy from an estate sale and didn't have ready access to it before. The story here remains true to Bram Stoker's, "Dracula," and expands upon that genius work, greatly, by making Renfield the protagonist.

In fact this book's conveyance practically begins with Renfield in the nuthouse and he's desperately seeking to save precious Lucy from certain death, either by Dracula and later by human-hunters. He watches everything that is happening to her through his mental connection to the vampire and as Renfield desperately intends to intervene, he himself is often found helplessly restricted by a straight jacket or is left spinning in the "swing," a dreadful "medical" device that's supposed to soothe mental patients but only serves to agitate them.

One fascinating development in Hambly's book is the visitation of Dracula's three brides early on. They are tired of their vampire-husband's cavorting ways and seek to stop all his waywardness, which means Renfield has the opportunity to defy his master Dracula and assist them, if he so chooses.

QUOTES THAT SHOW BARBARA's VIVID DETAILS AND FUN WRITING STYLE:

1. After being asked to sit down on a newly delivered chair: "Lady Brough scrutinized the seat of hers as if to make sure nobody had inadvertently left fresh pig entrais on it." (P. 23)

2. Renfield has many dreams. In one: "He had dreamed about Catherine, dreamed terrible things. Georgina and Lady Brough were going to take Vixie, take her and lock her up, send her away. Teach her shame and squeamishness. Teach her that everything she loved and felt and cared about was wrong." (P. 175)

3. Hoping to outsmart the aunts that Catherine always loathed, Renfield enters the dark house to find: "Only the smell of dust, and of mice, and of rooms unaired." (P. 177)

As you can tell, the author fully entertains with vivid details you cannot only visualize, but nearly hear and smell as well. I hope you get a copy. It's definitely a worth-while read.

Scariest Vampires Evah ... You Vote!

2011-04-27T15:08:00.000-07:00

What Vampire Produces The Biggest Emotional Reaction In You As "The Baddest" of Bad?

OPTION 1: Dwight Renfield (Stephen King's "Night Flier)

OPTION 2: Kurt Barlowe (Stephen King's Salem's Lot)

OPTION 3: Plague-carrying vampires as in Nosferatu

OPTION 4: Radu from Subspecies (Bloodstorm)

OPTION 5: Jared Nomac (Blade II)

OPTION 6: Mark Metcalf (of Buffy The Vampire Slayer)

OPTION 7: 30 Days of Night Vampires

Zen And The Art of Vampires (Fun But Not Too Zen)

2011-04-21T18:18:00.000-07:00

Zen And The Art Of Vampires (7th book in the "A Dark Ones Novel" series) by Kate MacAlister. $7.99 paperback.

This novel offers a rather humorous look at Pia Thomason, 39, a seemingly ordinary single looking for romance on her tour to Europe. During the journey the reader enjoys experiencing murder, mistery and intrigue.

CAUTIONS: While the title of this book includes the word "ZEN" there is little of the sort. The main character is rather awkward/clumsy and engages in a non-committed type sexual relationship, even when it means having sex with her new closest male-friend's best buddy regardless of how that might seem to him.

DESCRIBING BELIEVABLE SEX:
"He was warm and male and pretty much fit the description of every fantasy man I'd ever imagined. I slid into bed beside him, crossing my fingers that he wouldn't insist on feeling all the pudgy parts of me. Men liked breasts -- maybe if I could keep him interested in those, he wouldn't notice my stomach and thighs and just exactly how big my butt was." (p. 77)

HUMOROUSLY, AFTER HER VAMPIRE LEAPS FROM THE BALCONY (AS POLICE ARE COMING) HE CALLS UP TO HER, URGING HER TO ALSO JUMP:
   "All women think they're too fat. I'm perfectly capable of catching you, regardless."
   His fingers were splayed on my hips, his breath brushing my lips. We were fitted together in an intimate way that seemed to make thinking difficult. His gaze dropped to my mouth, and I started to tingle all over at the thought of kissing him.
   A voice shouting from the balcony roused us both.
   "Get moving," he growled as I rolled of him, quickly getting to my feet.

LATER (DURING THIS SAME ESCAPE)
   "Holy crap!" I yelled as he took the corner on what felt like only two wheels. "Are you trying to kill us?"
   "The thought had crossed my mind," he ground out, his eyes glittering in the darkness as he sped out of town.

This book seemed very fun and light hearted as a quick read.

QUOTATIONS FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Book 4

2011-04-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Who Will Stop the Vampires Stalking L.A.? (Book Four In The BTVS Series) Novelization by Richie tankersley Cusick. Based on the screenplay by Joss Whedon.

This book offers a very quick and humorous read that any Buffy fan is sure to enjoy. It's not labored down with detail but instead leaves much up to the reader's imagination.

HERE ARES SOME QUANTITATIVE EXAMPLES:
(P. 51): As Merrick, who trains vampire slayers, told Buffy to sit besides the 3-day-old grave belonging to deceased Robert Berman, whose about to emerge for his first time as a vampire, Buffy, whose never met a vampire before, suddenly asks:
   "Do you have any gum?" (Obviously she doesn't take this vampire-hunter assignment very seriously. It's also possible that she assumes the vampire will look desirable as Vampire Eric Northman, of True Blood fame, and perhaps then she'll need fresh breath to get lucky).

HOW SOME VAMPIRES DIE: (p. 55)
   As Buffy rams a stake clean through a she-demon's heart (referred to as "woman" here) ... "The woman gave one final scream, her repulsive face still smoking even as she died." (That's the extent of it - no bursting into a puff of smoke or slowly dying in agony as the vampire and slayer talk long about the things they wished they'd achieved before one of them kicked the proverbial bucket.)

SOME VAMPIRES ARE JUST TERRIBLY RUDE - Like Vampire Lothos :(p. 62)
   "Listen," Cassandra babbled desperately, "You don't want me. You want bodies, I'll help you. I won't say a word. I swear to God --."
   Lothos grabbed her so swiftly and suddenly that she didn't even have time to gasp before he broke her neck.
"I wish you wouldn't mention Him," Lothos sighed, profoundly annoyed.

THOSE WHO TRAIN VAMPIRE HUNTERS CAN SEEM RATHER IMPATIENT:
Page 89: Merrick, who thinks Buffy is not taking her training seriously, scolds her, shamelessly.
   "What did you think, that being about to jump about and hit people makes you a Slayer?"

CONCLUSION:
Anybody whose even half-way cool will love reading this book. I found my copy at a local charity store (bought the paperback used for $2.99).

Are You Following Vamchoir On Twitter YET? (Fun Quotes)

2011-04-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

In addition to quoting many vampires by a myriad of other authors, @Vamchoir has also tweeted these fun/ORIGINAL vampire statements:

NEVER GO TO BED ANGRY Suck the blood out of that bastard and return to the casket in peace.

Panicked, I realized half the people around had turned "werewolf" and, judging by bloodshot & yellow eyes, so would the other half ~Vamchoir

Ever just want to laugh: "Vlah-haha" for no apparent reason?

Oh I am in the loop! I'm just not into Lupins. ~ Vampire Dresmona (Ravena & The Resurrected)

He's no werewolf. He's hairy alright & howls at the moon but soon as ya say "boo" he begins sucking his thumb. ~ Ravena Doomlah

Admit it. You don't CARE about my ceramic owl collection, or the fact that I... Oooh. That vein! It keeps pulsing so temptingly in your neck (Vampire Dresmona)

Good morning. Welcome to Hell.

Some sexy/shapely soul kept stalking me, like, really close. Was about to say something, then, *DANG.* Realized: "just my shadow." Vlah-haha

Werewolves can shapeshift in any second. You could be laughing your ass off and suddenly your blood is all over someone's hair. ~ Vamchoir

Instead of taking a blood bath...some of the most heinous vampires prefer to rip off someone's head and dance in the resultant warm shower.

"Why don't vampires breathe?" You ask. So, I answer truthfully: "Being vampire is just way too exciting." (We hold our breath.) ~ Vamchoir

Avoiding vampires is like not paying taxes. Not only does the IRS know where you live but, if you're not careful, taxes can also suck ya dry

At a party and feel like a fire hydrant with all these werewolves staring at me like they badly need to relieve themselves ~Ravena Doomlah

Must spend less time stalking people and more time drinking their bloo-oo-ood. (This vampire girl is getting too skinny.) Vlah-haha.

@cyr [What's the BEST way to pay taxes?] ANSWER: With Money. It feels like the government wants your blood but it really only takes currency

Tami Jackson thinks cohabiting w/a vampire who cannot endure Sun would be such a pain. I mean, how in heck's s/he gonna help mow the lawn?

"Why doesn't that werewolf wanna love me? I keep holding the poor bastard by his hind feet & he's still trying to run away" ~Ravena Doomlah

I'm hungry thanks to you. (YOU make me hungry.) Vlah-haha ~ Ravena Doomlah

While Harker is leaving the premises as a large wolf I'm stuck being a vampire. Gotta learn shape-shifting someday soon. ~ Ravena Doomlah

To vampires, "burning rim of fire" has nothing to do with earthquakes. It means angry peasants with flaming torches now storm a single vampire.

It's official. My book, Ravena & The Resurrected has a FACEBOOK fan page! Please click "LIKE" http://www.facebook.com/RavenaTheResurrected

Meet tall, marked and handsome (werewolves with the dark mark) in Ravena & The Resurrected. Available as an eBook, SunTigerMOJO.com

Follow Vamchoir on:

Quotations From "The Vampire Armand" by Anne Rice

2011-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

When a book is just as interesting second go-around as it was upon first reading ... you know you've happened upon a masterpiece. That's how I feel about Ann Rice's book, "The Vampire Armand," where the writing is crisp and vivid.
Attempting NOT to quote the entire book, the following is just a few segments that I found thought provoking and worth sharing.

VAMPIRE REASSURANCE:
   No, little one, you are not dying. You are coming now into my protections, and perhaps if the stars are with us, if they are kind to us, you'll never die at all. (Pg. 31.)

A VAMPIRE's EMBRACE:
   Once I lay half asleep. The air was rosy and golden. The place was warm. I felt his lips on mine, and his cold tongue move serpentlike into my mouth. A liquid filled my mouth, a rich and burning nectar, a potion so exquisite that I felt it roll through my body to the very tips of my outstretched fingers. I felt it descend through my torso and into the most private part of me. I burned. I burned. (Pg. 57.)

ANNE'S CONVEYANCE OF VAMPIRE EROTICA:
   Golden honey was painted on my nether parts only to be licked away by giggling angels. (P. 65.)

VAMPIRE OBSERVES A LITTLE BIT OF MYSTERY:
   I fixed my eyes on the tenacious little spirit
   "Why do you linger here?" I asked it desperately in a whisper. "Why can't I see you?"
   It moved its little mouth as if it meant to speak, but it only shook its head ever so slightly, piteously eloquent of its confusion.
   The steps came on. And once again I struggled to catch the scent. But there was nothing, not even the dusty reek of a vampire's robes, only this, the approach of this shuffling sound. And finally there came to the bars the tall shadowy figure of a haggard woman.
   I knew that she was dead. I knew. I knew she was as dead as the little one who hovered by the wall. (P. 251.)

VAMPIRE OBSERVING DEATH:
   I lay back , and flung out my arm in careless despair and felt the child's corpse, still faintly warm beside me.
   I did not always see their ghosts.
   I did not seek to master the means of doing so.
   They were no friends to me -- it was a new curse -- these spirits would now and then collect about the scene of my bloody destruction. I saw no hope in their faces when they did pass through those moments of my wretchedness when the blood was warmest in me. No bright light of hope surrounded them. (Page 252.)

HOW VAMPIRES CHOOSE WHOM TO TURN VAMPIRE:
... the Dark Gift, for that is what we called it, must never be given to those who were not beautiful, for the enslaving of the beautiful with the Dark Blood was more pleasing to a Just God. (P. 253.)

WHY ANCIENT VAMPIRES SHOULD NEVER MAKE NEW VAMPIRES
... our powers increase with time and the power of the old ones is too great for the young. (p. 253.)

Interview With McCarty Griffin, Author Of Freakishly Fun Books

2011-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

TAMI: What inspired you to write this particular book: Monster Story?

McCarty: Growing up, I was a dedicated fan of a show out of Pittsburgh called Chiller Theater with Chilly Billy Cardille. My mother and I would make a Chef Boyardee pizza and cuddle up on the couch to watch the Saturday night creature feature. I spent my childhood soaking up those wonderful old scary movies about werewolves, vampires, mummies, zombies and aliens. Just writing these words calls to mind that distinctive introductory riff of the show’s theme song and brings a nostalgic smile to my face. Later, in my teen years, I discovered wonderful horror authors like Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Peter Straub.

TAMI: Do you ever have nightmares related to monsters and has that changed since writing the book?

McCarty: I’ve dreamed scary stories since my early childhood, fueled by my Saturday night viewing habits, no doubt. I can still remember several of those dreams vividly, especially the ones featuring the same monsters I had just watched the previous weekend. To this day, when I’m feeling particularly stressed, I dream about the living dead. Sometimes, I dream a story that I think I should write, but I have yet to do it.

TAMI: How did you come up with the title?

McCarty: Well, at first it was a working title. You know, the kind you just make up off the top of your head the first time you save your work on the computer. The more I wrote, the more I realized that “Monster Story” was the only title I could possibly give it, because that’s what this book is; it’s a good old-fashioned monster story, where the creature is scary and terrified humans band together to save themselves from it. Readers won’t find any cross-species love stories in this book. The werewolf, even in his human form, is quite monstrous and I guarantee that most readers will be rooting for the main characters to destroy him.

TAMI: Which character in your book do you relate to the most and why?

McCarty: I relate to every single one of them, even the monster. I guess maybe that’s because I believe that every character a writer creates contains at least a small part of that writer’s psyche, and many times a whole lot more, whether they’re the “good guys” or the “bad guys.” I think every person has at least a tiny bit of villain somewhere inside. Most people wisely suppress those traits, sometimes with great effort, depending upon the individual. Writers are lucky in that they get to exorcise those villainous parts of their souls, through the creation of characters who can do and say all the terrible things most of us might briefly consider in a dark moment of anger, before sanity kicks back in and our civilized psyche reasserts itself. Writing a truly evil character can be surprisingly therapeutic.

TAMI: What would you say was the most interesting thing you learned from writing this book?

McCarty: I learned that even though I’m the one writing the book, and the person from whom presumably the characters spring, sometimes I’m surprised by how the plot and characters evolve, and what the characters sometimes do which is completely “out of character” for them. At times, Monster Story took on a life of its own, almost as if I wasn’t so much writing it as I was channeling it.

TAMI: If you had to do it all over, would you write this particular book again? Why or why not?

McCarty: Yes, of course I would write Monster Story again, because it was a lot of fun. I just love a scary story, whether it’s a movie or a book. Turns out I enjoy writing them even more than watching or reading them. And surprisingly, although perhaps not to other writers, I grew emotionally attached to many of the characters, especially Christy and Graeme, and felt a little sad when the story was finished, as if I were saying good-bye to old friends.

TAMI: If you were going to describe your targeted reader to a police profile artist, what would that reader look like?

McCarty: Okay, now that’s a hard one, because I’ve never really tried to target a specific type of reader. I’d like my story to have such a broad appeal that no such profile could ever be created. Is that asking for too much, for every reader to like my story?

TAMI: Please share your website URL and social media contact information.
McCarty:

TAMI: Please share anything else you would like my subscribers to know about.

McCarty: I have a novella called Half-Inch on Smashwords.com and will soon publish a young adult book called The Tribe. I am currently writing a futuristic sci-fi called Sub.

My books are also sold at Diesel, Kobo, Sony, Apple and Barnes & Noble. I hope they will soon be sold at Amazon.

Currently Reading My Favorite Author's Work (Lori Handlehand)

2011-04-07T21:00:00.000-07:00

When I grow up, I want to be able to write like Lori Handeland. She has been one of my favorite all-time authors, ever since she began producing the Nightcreature/Jager-Sucher novels. I know. I often admit that I do NOT like romance stories (and would not attempt to write such myself - thanks to my ultra-conservative upbringing and discomfort with spectator sex) but I definitely make an exception for reading Lori's dark fantasy books because she weaves every relationship into a much larger and more compelling mystery that's very fun to watch unfold naturally, like a Venus Flytrap, where the plot eventually snaps shut at the most opportune moment. In the meanwhile, the reader keeps waiting for that suspenseful moment to happen . . . the mysterious unraveling, I mean.

Hunter's Moon, by Lori Handeland ($4.99 in paperback)

Hunter's Moon is no exception to the anticipation and pleasure I've gained from every other one of Lori's werewolf books. This one is about a Jager-Sucher (werewolf hunter) named Leigh who had her soul ripped out through her throat the very day she watched her high school sweetheart and family get murdered by a werewolf-stalker who wanted to change Leigh into a creature of the night. Her boyfriend and family attempted to get in the way, protecting Leigh, and now they're all dead.

In spite of Leigh's visually disturbing horror, experiences that would have turned anyone else into an emotional zombie, she still has a pulsing heart. She just tries to keep her feelings under wraps while she goes about avenging all who were once very dear to her - by killing werewolves everywhere she meets one.

When a new love-prospect begins to bloom, the reader is very much engaged in the main characters' life and desperately hoping that Leigh and this gorgeous mystery man will seriously get together, romantically. This is where Lori's work is different from all those other romance books that I loathe, where the main characters start "going at it," sexually, from the beginning, long before the reader is emotionally invested in either party.

Because I always attempt to quantify the things I write about a book, here's a simple excerpt, from page 61, where Leigh has just met her understudy (female coworker) at the door and our lovely main character is walking around, completely naked. This short segment shows how engaging Lori's writing consistently proves to be.

   "You plan on getting dressed anytime soon?" Jessie asked, staring pointedly at the window.'
   I smirked. At last I'd rattled her cage. "You shy?"
   "I can see you're not."

As I was saying, Lori's work effectively tugs at your heart. In Hunter's Moon, you'll WANT the relationships to develop further because the individuals behind any chemical attraction scenario are inspiring and respectable. JagerSucher Leigh proves over and over again that she has heart and soul (so this reader relates to her, on a very committed level).

That Afghan That's Moving By Itself On The Couch? It's Just Our Ghost Cat!

2011-03-29T02:30:00.000-07:00

PHANTOM FELINES by Gerina Dunwich (many very fun short stories written by multiple contributors rolled into one book and edited/coordinated by Gerina Dunwich).

Before I begin writing the review for this book, let me first explain that before Doug and I moved into this little rambler, that we own for our home, I never even considered that animals might become ghosts that haunt any home. I'll admit that part of my naivety about ghosts had stemmed from the religion that I was taught during childhood, where strict dogma insisted the "dead know nothing" and "the dead are sleeping" (e.g., book of Ecclesiastes) where no spirit would wake until Jesus returned (book of Revelations). Point now is - after many years of not believing in ghosts at all, then becoming an adult and having exposure to multiple phenomena that convinced me spirits were definitely active and real - I still had not considered that animal's might stick around a particular home to haunt it.

So when living and breathing humans visited our home and started reporting that they saw a phantom cat either at the end of the hallway, or one person saw it walk through the middle of the couch ... I felt perplexed but entertained by their stories that described the same size medium-hair dark feline in shadow form and I took careful notice because I had often felt an invisible cat walk on my bed (while I was laying in it) on more than a few occasions. I kept dismissing the "cat walking on the bed" experience as though I was just imagining things. Then one day my spouse admitted he saw the dark ghostly cat too.

On the night when I finally felt convinced that animals can definitely appear as spirits, my eldest sister and I were sitting and just talking in the living room. That's when a VHS cartridge suddenly scooted forward on the book shelf and fell (seemingly on its own volition) to the floor. My sister was instantly horrified.

"It's probably just the ghost-cat" I said, comfortingly, since it was easy to imagine a cat walking along that shelf and knocking things down as it stepped. In truth, I had no other logical explanation to offer for what could possibly have made that video scoot away from all the others and fall. I certainly had not heard any weird voices or felt any cold spots. There was nothing about the front room to make either of us feel alarmed (until that happened). I certainly had not been hearing any spirit-voices of any kind.

SO NOW FOR THE REVIEW
You can see, after reading the above admission, why I might pick up such a book called "Phantom Felines." I had suppose there would be something very comforting about reading a book by other writers who are having experiences that are just as crazy-sounding as my own. This book definitely provided that connection for me. I would admit to anyone that for the most part I really enjoyed reading it.

THREE RESERVATIONS ABOUT PHANTOM FELINES - QUANTIFIED
I have a little anxiety about suggesting this book to someone else to read for one major reason (out of three reservations). After I reached the middle of the book, there began such dreadful stories describing terrible animal cruelty - the worst sort of animal-beating-deaths imaginable. What troubled me even more was that various contributors who submitted such stories claimed that it was violence that caused those animals to haunt the premises. By the third short story on this theme, I had to quit reading. (Visualizing animal abuse just really breaks my heart and I lost all interest in reading such stories.)

Second reservation: while you might find some pretty solid logical evidence in some of the tales presented here, and you might be able to deduce that ghost-animals exist, you won't find any hard scientific facts in that regard. Even with my personal experiences, described above, I felt some of the stories presented here were lacking in believability and felt a much more common and logical explanation could easily explain away what the contributor had experienced and assumed was a ghost-animal.

Third and final reservation: because Phantom Felines is written by multiple contributors, some stories run along too similar a theme and occasionally I felt I was reading the same sort of story time and again. This last admission is rather easy to overlook (at least I didn't mind the redundant them too terribly much).

WHAT I REALLY LIKED
The three reservations aside, I especially enjoyed reading a couple different animal-spirit myths where an entire village might share the same ghost-cat or demon-dog story and, when disbelievers came to town and saw the metaphysical creature for themselves, they would be so convinced of their own foolish denial that they ended up writing some of the most interesting stories in this book.

ENDING WITH A NOT SO CHILLING BOOK SAMPLE (the shortest story in the book - to quantify how some stories are NOT as fabulous as others)

"The Ghost Dog of Pondtown Creek" by Gerina Dunwich
The frightful apparition of a large white dog haunts the road near a small wooden bridge that crosses Pondtown Creek in Hartford, Alabama. According to local legend, a man was driving on the road when a German Shepherd suddenly darted out in front of him. His car hit the dog. But instead of stopping to help the dog this heartless individual drove off, leaving the poor animal to die from its injuries. It is said that on moonless nights, the dog's ghost wanders the road searching for the driver who took its life. Sometimes it can be heard howling as well.

We Interrupt This Blog To Volunteer (Disaster Relief Work)

2011-03-25T11:50:00.000-07:00

Volunteering on-call at the local International Airport as Americans fly home from the Japan disaster means this blog is on a very short hiatus (will update with review-writing as soon as possible). Here's one cool experience I had with a little girl whose parent are in the U.S. military.

Ever Gone To Vampire Slayer School? Well, Now You Can (Vicariously)

2011-03-21T13:56:00.000-07:00

Night School, A Blood Coven Vampire Novel, by Mari Mancusi

This is the only book by Mari Mancus that I've read (and this is not the first in her Blood Coven series). Even still, Night School stood on its own quite effectively. I highly recommend it as an easy-to-consume humorous and extremely imaginative tale. The writing is not only charming and very fun, but it's completely appropriate for young adults and even the youngest among teenage readers. (While this book would fall in the same genre as Vampire Academy, by Richelle Mead, there's no inappropriate guardian/student romance here in Night School and all sexual contact is limited to teenagers kissing or to a vampire drinking blood).

Night school begins with a late teen/vampire who just discovered her biological family is faerie-blood (spelled "fairy" in the book). While Rayne drinks only synthetic blood, she's shipped away to boarding school where nobody knows she's vampire and because she would be slayed to expose her true identity, the unwilling student faces starvation. What happens after that is just a very exciting story filled with mystery, suspense and wonderful imagination.

EXAMPLES FROM THE BOOK:
#1 - Amusing exaggeration, appropriate for story-telling:
"I stare at my stepmom, pretty sure my jaw has dropped to the floor at this point. Heather works for Slayer Inc.? And here I thought she was a stripper or something. .." - page 10

#2 Humor and great quips:
(Describing an uppity and emotionally unavailable adult/guardian): "Headmistress Roberta sniffs again. I'm beginning to think she should have that nose of hers checked out. "You're welcome," she manages to spit out at last. Though I'm pretty sure she doesn't mean it." - page 42.

#3 Many excellent references to other literature, games and familiar media
"No passing Go, no collecting $200. (Man, no one ever pays me for anything around here.)" - page 183.

RESERVATION:
My unimportant (extremely anal-retentive) observation: I wanted a better description for visualizing how a faerie with full-size wings could hide her huge feathered appendages under a simple T-shirt. Later (after I kept pondering this question - because one student had shown her newly forming and still small wings to her roommate and that horrified student scurried back and away, long before those wings continued to grow larger, and larger when still nobody at school seemed to notice them. Much later, the book described the huge feathers as being being folded under the T-shirt but with the way my mind works -- I kept thinking huge wings folded would make discernible lumps under a thin layer of cotton. If I were to rewrite this detail - I'd communicate that the faerie must have spoken some magical chant or something to make the wings temporarily disappear.

CONCLUSION:
I strongly recommend this book. It thoroughly enjoyed the fanciful experience that Night School presented. I will definitely check out more books by the highly talented author, Mari Mancusi.

Reviewer's Admission:
I won this used paper-back in a wonderful blog contest. It was definitely a wonderful gift to receive in the mail.

The Vampire Review

MUST SEE: Underworld Awakening. *Leave The Theater Smiling*

Vampire Flick: "I Sell The Dead." Offbeat, Not Unlike "The Apple Dumpling Gang"

A Writer's Perspective By Dark Series Author Kathryn Meyer Griffith

Guest Post: "Soldiers Of The Night" ... by Tom Olbert

Raising An Old Horror Movie From The Dead: "The Thing"

"UNEXPECTED TERROR" Guest Post by Jake Bannerman

Review Of "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!"

Review Of French Horror "The Horde" {Fast Paced Zombie Flick}

"Scoundrels Are Cool" Says Author M.T. Murphy in this Great Post!

Urban Legend "The Vampire Of Sacramento"

Review of Shaun Of The Dead

Review of "Return Of The LIving Dead 3" LMAO

Review of "The Lost Boys" (1987 Vampire Flick)

Guest Post By Author of "Jinn Nation" - Caroline Barnard Smith

Vampegeddon - Lamest Of All Crippled Movies

Review of "Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl" (2009) - DVD

Vampire Review Apologizes For Sporadic Publishing Lately

"BITTEN" - Compelling Book Review By Guest Writer, Kelly Gordon

Must See: "Prey" (2010 movie)

I Exorcise "The Rite" (2011) To NOT Believe Anything In This Horror Movie

Guest Author Sarah E. Glenn (

Vampires Los Muertos Will Turn You Into A Mindless Zombie (Guaranteed)

"HIDE AND SEEK" (Great 2005 Horror Movie On DVD)

"Priest" (2011) Yay on Story. Boo On Visuals

HUGE MYSTERY - HAUNTED HOUSE - UNIQUE INSIGHT - WILLIAM ROSS RUST HOME

THERE WILL BE BLOO-OO-OOD! ("Rose Red")

Horror Movie That Leaves You Laughing Ridiculously Hard

Director: Paul Andrew WilliamsWriter:Paul Andrew WilliamsStars: Andy Serkis, Reece ShearsmithJennifer Ellison

Writer:

Black Death - History You Love To Hate - Movie Released 11 June 2010 (UK)

HAPPY CREEPY MOTHER'S DAY (MY WORK: SHORT HORROR ART)

Quotes From Renfeild Slave Of Dracula

Scariest Vampires Evah ... You Vote!

Zen And The Art of Vampires (Fun But Not Too Zen)

QUOTATIONS FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Book 4

Are You Following Vamchoir On Twitter YET? (Fun Quotes)

Quotations From "The Vampire Armand" by Anne Rice

Interview With McCarty Griffin, Author Of Freakishly Fun Books

Currently Reading My Favorite Author's Work (Lori Handlehand)

That Afghan That's Moving By Itself On The Couch? It's Just Our Ghost Cat!

We Interrupt This Blog To Volunteer (Disaster Relief Work)

Ever Gone To Vampire Slayer School? Well, Now You Can (Vicariously)

MUST SEE: Underworld Awakening. Leave The Theater Smiling

Director: Paul Andrew Williams
Writer:
Paul Andrew Williams
Stars: Andy Serkis, Reece Shearsmith Jennifer Ellison