Monday, October 10, 2011

Review Of "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!"

"Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!" (2008) proves  way too sexually violent for me to recommend it to most viewers. Not only do men and women both get raped, but they might be missing limbs when the violent sexual crimes take place.  In one scenario? An almost fully-clothed zombie is having sex with a dismembered head ... From my own narrow point of view, I had to wonder:  "what sort of deviant mutant wrote this crap?"

BEYOND THE DRAWBACKS: This film has great zombie action in it, and while the dialogue is severely lacking  (i.e., "f*@#" is spoken every few words) and none of the zombie-characters look or behave even remotely like vampires (so putting "vampire" in the title makes no sense) the redeeming value from this movie is all about the fast action. I for one viewer, leapt out of my seat twice while watching, thanks to the element of surprise.  For example:  a cop is trying to make a getaway and suddenly a zombie appears from behind to nab him. The fright aspects affected me with HILARIOUS glee.

I also enjoyed the light-hearted humor presented throughout the full length of this film. For example, in one scene? An angry zombie flies in through window, grabs a woman, says "HUNGRY." She replies with: "Eat this" and blows the zombie head off with her oozie. Then? She turns from the zombie brains that are now spread on the distant wall and says: "Sorry about the mess dad."

If you've ever wanted to kick zombie butt? This might be your movie because there's LOTS OF THAT going on. It's what made the movie worth watching, to me.

RIDICULOUS SCENARIOS:
1. What the heck. Zombies rip off a woman's arm and THEN her dress (she runs screaming naked like a kid who stepped on a hornet's nest)! *SEE PHOTO*

2. Why does one cop carry 7+ identical hand-guns in the trunk of his car? Because this is "Mutant Vampire Zombies from the 'Hood!" That's why!

3. Female doctor Lisa plans to save the world by requiring all survivors to "make babies." Any intelligent viewer  is going to consider the backdrop in this movie and ask "For what? Zombie food?"

4. This flick suggests that watching zombies trying to get inside the white metal fence, with blood slathered all over that protective barrier, is a highly romantic scenario. It's presented as though couples are watching the stars and listening to Barry Manilow when they're hearing cannibalistic grunts and groans that stimulate their sexual appetites. Dialogue is: "This could be our last night on earth."

5. After the solar flares turn humans into zombies (think: cops and gangstah's fainting everywhere to disco-like lights flashing outside) fuel will no longer combust so vehicles don't work. Hurray for the electric car, which doesn't make sense, scientifically, because in the real world solar flares often impact electrical systems first. Meanwhile? In this movie, the electric car works when no other vehicles will run.

6. Dr. "Lisa" who admits she only has ONE clip for her machine gun sure knows how to waste bullets (unloading the entire enterage) while shooting a small group of zombies at the base of the stairs.

FASCINATING AND NOT ANTICIPATED SCENARIOS
* Zombies mutate rapidly so shooting them in the head suddenly no longer kills them.

* Zombies have become gigantic on a rapid scale, which creates a lot of suspense in this movie, and when the zombies pick up the escape-car it's suddenly apparent that nobody's going ANYWHERE, it's a hilarious surprise for the viewer!

DIALOGUE FROM THIS MOVIE


  • "The world changed last night cop. There's a whole new bad guy on the street." Spoken by gangster member to last living police officer.

  • "Blood sucking-mother-f*$#ers" says the head gangsta-dude.  "Succinctly put. Yes." Replies the scientist.

  • "We've got a regular Bruce Lee with us," says cop after observing heroic behavior by a gangster member.  "Whose Bruce Lee?" that gangster-hero asks.

  • "Who the F*@# are you mother-f*$#er" ... "I'm Wexler, mother-f*$#er" (typical dialogue found in "Mutant Vampire Zombies From The Hood")

  • "Oh hell no! I aint giving my johnson to no zombie bitch"

  • "Man! If the whole world is like this? Then I'm moving to Mars baby."

  • "Everything might be gone but you still got your woman. To me, that's lucky," (says cop to lead gangster).




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