Thursday, October 6, 2011

Review Of French Horror "The Horde" {Fast Paced Zombie Flick}

Even though this foreign film is subtitled - the action, suspense, and hilarious-sort of "horror" make it a worth-see, in my opinion.  "The Horde" (2009 flick) features an end-of-world battle between cops, gangsters and zombies. Naturally the cops hate the gansters and visa-versa but the zombies hate (and wanna eat) EVERYBODY. So a bond between human enemies ensues - which makes sense because what's a zombie movie without unlikely allies?

This movie is very violent. There's lots of testosterone-laden posturing, with profanity spelled out (thanks to subtitles). In one scene, a female-zombie's breasts are exposed and a fat and dirty old man suggests having sex with her corpse. The only token female in this film acts very much like an emotionally diminished hateful b*tch who runs around with her nipples showing through her skimpy shirt. This m
ovie promotes cocaine use as a physical enhancing asset. 

THE MOVIE:Worth seeing for the zombie action and great make-up, this movie begins with bunch of dudes running around in ski masks carrying machine guns. It's not really clear what's going on at first but really cool suspenseful music plays in the background when a fat guy in a stained T-shirts comes out of his condemned building to order loiterers to push off.

When a human is turning zombie, the transition is visible through the skin. 
ZOMBIES growl and walk jerkily like their neurological systems are NOT fully functional. In contrast? Those same zombies can also run at heroic speed.

‎"Gotta chop your leg off." (Spoken casually by a pick-axe wielding nut-job for a fat old man) "What?" (Asks the gangster in a suit, but he soon realizes the old fart isn't joking). 

When someone gets beat-up, their face really shows it and the zombies are rather believable with their rotting flesh as well.

1.  The female cop ends up alone and she's kidney-punching a female zombie. This scene is really AWESOME.  The cop begins slamming that female zombie's head repeatedly inside the cupboard door.  I cannot tell you how many times I rewound the movie for the replay. I had so much fun seeing the female cop just easily flip over a full-size refrigerator on top of the zombie too.  (It's so ridiculous it's amusing.)

2. Gangsta-in-3-piece-suit is repeatedly stabbing a zombie over and over and looks to the ceiling as though in orgasm. WTHeck? 

3.   Multiple scenes with head-butting and punching zombies ninja-style. There's also a scene where the heros cannot hold the door shut when ZOMBIES are pushing from the other side.

4. I kept rewinding to watch a very detailed scene where a zombie's head explodes (by machine gun blast) and it looks like a jar of jelly was smashed against the distant wall.

What's wrong w/this picture? Smallest person-female-is the one keeping the injured dude mobile while the big males all carry small handguns.

Gangsta's snort cocaine when zombies have taken over the world as though nobody should be keeping their wits about them to survive. 

Gansta shoves handgun in cops face then turns it around when the cop doesn't flinch (hands it to him). Partners now. 

Brave gangsta goes to investigate certain zombie growls when the room their groanings come from is full of flashing lights and the hero gets yanked off his feet ... hangs onto the lower part of the doorway while zombies eat his lower half.

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