Saturday, January 15, 2011

Anna Karnivora: A Vampire Novel by Bill Czolgosz

Anna Karnivora: A Vampire Novel by Bill Czolgosz
great deal for only $4.99 / 345 pages.

If Larry The Cable Guy (of "git 'er done" fame) ever wrote a full-length novel, this is probably what it would look like. It's red-neck sort of funny. Yet for fans of the vampire genre, it's terribly frustrating to wait all the way until the very end of the book before you finally get to even see one fang. Then, the vampire's raw meat-eating habits and severe mood swings prove more indicative of a werewolf than a vampire - so the reader feels let down even further.

Let me explain it this way: If you've ever been locked inside a dirty bathroom at a distant gas station, when you're supposed to be meeting a hot date, and you must wait for someone to help get the door unstuck, you might try to concede to the situation and maybe you'd read some of the entertaining graffiti that's scribbled all over the walls. 
Yet in the back of your mind, the longer you wait, the more you keep thinking about that heart-throb you're supposed to be with. Pretty soon, you want "out of Dodge" so badly, you nearly panic, but in this case, Dodge is called Tromso, because that's where main character Bill lives.


With "Anna Karnivora: A Vampire Novel," there are graffiti-worthy visuals of Bill reading on the toilet and his friend whacking off to girlie magazines and a myriad of depressed people living in an even more depressed town getting drunk most of the time. That is, when they're not dealing drugs. Halfway through the book there's still not even a widows peak lurking from the shadows and after reading the book title again, you beg the question: "where in Tromso are the friggin' vampires?"


Finally, when people start dying it's from suicide, homicide, and a crushing ride down a conveyor belt into heavy machinery. No deaths seem to have anything to do with vampires, but the door still hasn't budged, so you keep reading to kill time until they do.


The reason I'm giving this book three very positive stars is because Bill Czolgosz truly is a very gifted author. His style is quite unlike most novel writers I've seen. This work could be most entertaining for someone whose expecting a light-hearted book of some generic theme. If it had not been for the many teasers in the first few chapters that insisted the book would be about vampires, and if the book had not been named "Vampires," then maybe I would not have accumulated such false expectations.


Reviewed by Tami Jackson
Author of Ravena & The Resurrected


Character Blog: Vamchoir
Tweet: @Vamchoir
Facebook: Vamchoir
Publisher: SunTigerMOJO.com 

11 comments:

  1. Found your blog through Book Blogs...and I'm lovin' what I see! Looking forward to reading more.
    Kimberly's Bookshelf:
    http://sugarcreekcottage.blogspot.com/
    And My newest endeavor:
    http://timetravelerreviews.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi! Found you on Book Blogs. I am a new follower. Hope you will want to check out my blogs and I would love a follow-back.
    Laurie
    http://lauriethoughts-reviews.blogspot.com/
    http://lauries-interviews.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi great review, found you through book blogd, am a new follow, love your blog hope you have time to follow back also.

    http://booketernity.blogspot.com

    thanks

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow Kimberly. Great layout. I'm following you on http://timetravelerreviews.blogspot.com/ ... just added and will check out your Sugar Creek blog too! Thanks for following!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Laurie ~ I was happy to RTF and now follow LaurieThoughts-Reviews.blogspot.com. Great effort you have put into your blog! I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nathalie ~ I subscribed to you from the RSS/my google account and via my blogger account. Glad you're here!

    ~ Tami

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hi Tami, I found you through BookBlogs. Just signed up as your newest follower. My blog http://avalon-lion.blogspot.com (an online cat cartoon) is also just a couple of weeks old. Have a lucky weekend.

    ~Avalon Lion

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congrats on the new blog. It looks great. Started following you.

    Vanessa Morgan, http://vanessa-morgan.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Avalon ~ I feel so honored to have a 10-year-old Turkish Van cat from Belgium following. Until now, I didn't think cats followed ANYONE. Thanks for making me feel so special. I did RTF. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Tami

    Thank you for stopping by my blog! I see you are also participating in BCC's Horror and UF Challenge, definitely want to see what you are reading. Are you also participating in Parajunkee's Vampire Challenge? If not, check out. In turn I am going to scope out Ravena and Karnivora.

    Nice to meet you,

    Nickee (Fiendishly Bookish)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for following Nickee. I am not doing the Parajunkee's Vampire Challenge (not yet at least). I shall have to check it out. Thank you for the suggestion!

    ReplyDelete

Vampire Review ingurgitates on reader feedback. Thank you in advance for providing food for the cranium.